Making The Cut, Part 3

Table of Contents

Chapter Eleven

Danni returned home from her afternoon shopping spree with an armful of bags, a list of fashion tips from the store clerks, and a credit card bill that she would be paying off for at least the next two months. She was grateful that the Collective managed her food and shelter expenses, so she wouldn’t have to worry about meals or rent, but she was looking at a long stretch of very quiet evenings at home unless the entertainment was on someone else’s coin.

Still, she felt good about her purchases. The jeans that she’d worn for her shopping trip had been too loose at the waist, too tight in back and too long in the inseam, which led to the odd combination of feeling like her pants were falling down while simultaneously having her ass stuck in a corset. She’d worn one of her baggiest t-shirts with the jeans, and while it had enough room for her breasts – barely – she had come to the reluctant conclusion that men’s t-shirts just didn’t look all that good on women. Sasha had said as much before, but as Daniel she’d never realized how wrong their shape was for a female body.

As soon as she had her newly-purchased clothes in hand, Danni had gone back into the changing room and swapped her baggy, bulky outfit for something more flattering. It was a hot, sunny and beautiful day full of promises about the coming summer, and she opted for an outfit that matched the weather. The silk blouse she wore now was a riotous pattern of turquoise, coral and bright yellow, with short sleeves and a neckline low enough to give teasing peeks at her cleavage. The tan skort was tame by contrast, but it showed off her long, shapely legs without sacrificing modesty. She was glad to be able to stick her sneakers in a bag, too: while her feet hadn’t gotten much smaller with the change and she had been able to wear her own shoes by tightening the laces, they looked clunky and awkward on her feminine frame. The flat sandals she now wore worked much better with the new outfit, and they fit her feet better besides.

It would have surprised her if she had been told about it a few weeks ago, but she felt fantastic. In spite of the ongoing struggles between her masculine ego and her new instincts, there was something deeply satisfying about knowing that she was beautiful. Her new body continued to astonish her every time she looked in the mirror, and it gave her a thrill to dress in ways that would show off that body to the rest of the world. She wasn’t sure if normal women felt that way, or if it was some side-effect of the Curse. For all she knew, maybe it was just the way her brain reacted to being stuck into a beautiful woman’s body. But there it was: Danni was gorgeous, she knew she was gorgeous, and she absolutely reveled in it.

She rode the lift up to her apartment and paused at the entrance. It took some juggling to fish her key out of her purse and get it into the door, then a few more awkward maneuvers as she pushed her way inside and carried the bags over to the couch. Her back was glad to be free of the load, and she lifted her arms over her head and stretched to loosen up the tired muscles.

She heard a sound like a muffled squeal from the direction of the bedrooms, followed by the clatter of a wheeled chair turning over. A clatter of feet sounded from the hallway, and then Nathan stood before her, arms limp at his sides. His wide-eyed expression suggested an emotional state similar to religious ecstasy.

“Holy, blessed Father of Lights!” he whispered. “It’s true. When I saw the security footage I almost didn’t believe it, but it’s true!”

Danni’s sunny mood was abruptly squashed by the awkward silence that followed. Nathan drank in the sight of her like a man dying of thirst, his nervous, roving eyes examining every line and curve with laser-beam intensity. His gaze fell on her breasts and his lips parted, the tip of his tongue running over them unconsciously.

And this is the downside of being beautiful, Danni thought. Being noticed and admired by strangers was one thing; getting turned into fodder for her flatmate’s sexual fantasies was quite another.

“Hi, Nate!” she said, with exaggerated cheerfulness. “So nice to see you! Oh, my weekend’s been great so far, thanks for asking! How’s yours?”

Nathan flinched and blinked rapidly as her tone sank in, but he did manage to tear his eyes away from her chest. “Oh, s-sorry, Double-D – I-I-I mean, Big D,” he amended quickly, upon seeing the look of fury in her eyes. “Err, or maybe Danni, I guess? That’s what the other chick called you, right?”

Danni crossed her arms in front of her. She was trying to look menacing, but it just pushed her breasts up higher, and that sent Nathan’s eyes back down to her cleavage again. She sighed and turned her back on him. “Danni is fine,” she said. She began pulling garments out of her shopping bags and laying them out on the back of the couch.

“Right. Danni, then.” Nathan fidgeted behind her, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

“Was there something you needed, Nate?” Danni asked.

“Well, I, um…” He paused, and Danni could almost hear him swallow back his nervousness. “It’s more of an intellectual curiosity, actually. About the, um … the details of the changes. I’m sort of an amateur scholar of the Curse, you see, and I’ve, um … never had the chance to study the effects of the androgyne variant … first-hand.”

Danni looked up at the ceiling and silently, slowly counted to ten.

“So, um, if you’d be willing to participate in some … some data collection – purely in the interests of academia, mind you—"

“What do you want, Nathan?”

“Um.”

“Yes?”

“A video recording.” He paused again, and out of the corner of her eye she saw him staring at his feet. “Of you transforming from a man into a woman.”

She put her hands on her hips and turned around. “That’s all?”

He shrugged.

“Nate, androgynes have been around for hundreds of years. There must be thousands of recordings of them transforming by now.”

“Well.” He coughed. “Yes. But.”

“But what?” She spread her hands and almost laughed. “I’ll admit I look great, but most teegees are beautiful. What’s so special about me?”

Nathan cleared his throat. “Well, the, um, the videographic record of androgyne transformation has largely been steeped in mystic nonsense or … or erotic sensationalism,” he said, finally looking up at her. “Too many people think that the Curse shouldn’t be analyzed, shouldn’t be questioned. Wizards tried for years to unravel it before the Majestrix brought under a measure of control, and none of them ever succeeded. Most of the attempts backfired with … unpredictable results. The end result has been a … a timidity about scientific investigation of the Curse, even with modern theoretical advances in manology. Because it took a demigoddess to bring the Curse under control before, people believe that it will escape our understanding forever. It’s a fallacious conclusion, you see.”

“So, what?” Danni said, frowning. “You want to do a scientific analysis of the transformation process? Figure out how it works?”

“We’re a long way from understanding the mechanism,” Nathan said hastily. “Even accurate description would be a major step forward for the field. If we could, um … if we could collect a detailed catalogue of the anatomical changes, if we could videotape and photograph it throughout the intermediate stages, take – take measurements and reference images—"

“I get the idea,” Danni said. She sat back against the edge of the couch and rested her chin on one hand. “I can see where the data could be useful, of course, but I’m not sure how you‘re going to leverage this into a serious research project. To do this right you’d need manologists, doctors, biochemists – even psychologists, to track the mental changes. Where are you going to get all those people, if everyone is so timid about analyzing the Curse?”

“We’ve been building a community of like-minded researchers across the WorldNet,” Nathan said eagerly. “Call it a sort of … open-source scientific endeavor. Researchers post what they need, and the rest of us try to collect it for them.” He looked up at her, hopeful. “Will you do it?”

She rolled the idea around in her head. On the one hand, it would mean learning more about herself and the life she was planning to lead, and that had to be a good thing. On the other hand, it would mean being examined by Nathan, repeatedly and in exacting detail, and she wasn’t sure she was ready to deal with that. Nate was a good guy, on the whole, but his obsession with beautiful women unsettled her now that she was one of them.

“I’ll think about it,” she said, picking up her clothes and walking past him toward her bedroom.

“Aw, come on, Danni!” Nate wheedled. “Every guy knows that ‘I’ll think about it’ means ‘no.’ ”

She didn’t slow down or look back. “No, it means I’ll think about it. I have a date in less than two hours, and I’m not going to decide anything right now.”

“Ooh, a date?” Nate said, brightening instantly. “Is it with that hot blonde you came in with last night?”

Danni shook her head. “Eva’s a mundy, Nate. I’m just going to dinner with someone I met last night.” She turned to close the door and found Nathan’s face right in front of her.

“Male or female?” he asked, grinning.

She glared at him.

“What? Intellectual curiosity.”

Danni rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. “Not that it’s any of your business…” she said.

“But?”

Sigh. “He’s a teep named Jared.”

“A-ha!” Nathan pointed a finger at her. “There it is! Direct evidence of androsexual overlay on a previously exclusive gynosexual orientation! There’s a long chain of anecdotal evidence, but it’s never been confirmed experimentally. Do you think the hospital would let us perform a few brain scans? If we could just get some before-and-after images of the relevant ganglionic structures—"

”Nathan!”

Nathan shut up. Danni put one finger squarely on the tip of his prominent nose.

“Not. Now.”

His eyes crossed as he looked at the finger. “Right. Of course. Silly me. A thousand pardons. Please proceed with your, um … pre-date preparations.” He took half a step back and twitched his head toward the door to his room. “I’ll just, um…”

Danni nodded, then pushed the door closed. A centimeter before it shut completely, Nathan called out, “Danni!”

She opened it back up a little. “Yes, Nate?”

“The, um—” he gestured at his chest “—accoutrements … would you say it’s like wearing bags full of water, or are they more like firm gelatin?”

She slammed the door in his face.

“So. What do you think?”

“What do I think?” Danni cast an appraising eye at the room around them. “I think you’ve got some class, Mister Tamlin. And, apparently, some money.”

Danni had never eaten at the Panoramic before. The restaurant was built into the upper levels of the eastern minaret of Kyia’s Citadel. Its outer wall was one unbroken array of windows, three and a half meters high from floor to ceiling. The restaurant slowly revolved on its axis, so anyone who ate there was eventually treated to a full 360-degree view of the city below. The restaurant itself boasted dark hardwood tables, genuine leather on the seat cushions and small, elegant artistic touches throughout, from the Sathmoran carvings on the support pillars to the gold trim on the crystal wine glasses.

“So what, exactly, do you do for a living that you can afford to eat like this?” Danni asked, quirking an eyebrow at him. “Investment analyst? Casino owner? International hit man?”

Jared chuckled, as the rims of his ears turned red with embarrassment. “Nothing so exotic,” he said. “I’m actually a psychologist for the MCPD.”

Danni blinked. “So, what? You help the cops figure out whether they’re going crazy?”

“Sometimes,” Jared said, smiling. “ ‘Fitness-for-duty assessment’ is what we call it. You can see some pretty terrible things when you’re a cop. I give them a safe place to talk over what happened to them, process their feelings. When they’re ready, I clear them to go back to work.” He shrugged. “There are other parts of the job, too. I help screen applicants to make sure they’re stable enough to work in the force, or if they’re likely to be vulnerable to corruption. I examine defendants to make sure they’re competent to stand trial. Sometimes I help with hostage negotiations.”

“Whoa,” Danni said. “What’s that like?”

Jared grimaced. “Not fun. I, um … I don’t really like to get into the details.”

Danni gave him what she hoped was a sympathetic expression. “Hey, okay.” Her hand reached out and found his, clasping it across the table. Their emotions briefly wrapped around each other, and she could feel an old hurt lingering there, one he wasn’t ready for her to touch. She brushed up against the surface of the memory and then withdrew, signaling that she wasn’t going to pry about it. He sent a wave of gratitude toward her in return, and they both smiled a little.

“So,” she said, shifting the conversation back to safer ground. “Everything I’ve heard says cops don’t make very much. How’d you score this?”

“Well, shrinks do make more than your average detective,” Jared said. His posture grew more relaxed, and a playful smirk came onto his face. “Not enough to eat here often, but I figured tonight was special.”

“Why’s that? Some sort of anniversary you were planning on celebrating?”

“No,” he said, winking. “Unless you count the 24-hour anniversary of when we met.”

She frowned. “Jared, I’ve seen the waiting list for this place. It takes weeks to even get a table for two. You’re going to tell me you just decided to bring me here on the spur of the moment, and you actually got a table?”

He shrugged helplessly. “What can I say? I stopped by earlier and asked if they had an opening. It turned out somebody had canceled their reservation, so that’s when I called you. No big mystery about it, just a little luck.”

She smirked at him. “Are you always that lucky, Mister Tamlin?”

He steepled his fingers and peered at her from behind them. “What’s the matter, Miss Sharabi?” he asked, his voice velvet-smooth and cultured like a spy-movie villain. “Becoming suspicious about my master plan?”

She leaned in close over the table and matched his expression. “Of course. Everyone knows that the psychologist is always the eee-vil mastermind, out to seduce the heroine with his villainous wiles.”

“Don’t be silly,” Jared said. “Men can’t have wiles. That’s women’s turf. They even call them ‘feminine wiles.’ I would have thought you’d know all about that.”

“Mmm,” Danni purred. “Maybe I’m just not very good at being a woman, hm?”

Jared leaned in until their noses were almost touching. “If you start to make any mistakes,” he said huskily, ”believe me, I’ll let you know.”

Danni sat back, suddenly uncomfortable. She tried not to grimace. This was skirting too close to something she’d hoped she wouldn’t need to bring up yet. Unfortunately, Jared saw the change in her expression and misinterpreted it.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his eyes looking worried. “That was too much, too fast, wasn’t it? I didn’t mean—"

“No,” Danni said, putting up a hand to forestall any further apologies. “It’s not you, really. I just…” She let out a frustrated sigh.

Jared cocked his head and peered at her closely, but his eyes were gentle and kind. “If you don’t want to tell me, it’s all right. I do understand.”

She shook her head. “No, it’s probably best I told you anyway.” She took a deep breath. “I’m an androgyne. The truth is that I’m not very good at being a woman yet. There’s a lot I’m still getting used to.”

He smiled sympathetically. “I take it you weren’t attracted to men before the change?”

“No.” She lowered her eyes. “If that’s too weird for you, I’ll understand.”

Jared shook his head. “I’ve lived in the City my whole life, Danni. I know a lot of androgynes, and I’ve dated several of them.” Off her surprised look he added, “Oh, sure. Androgynes usually make great lovers, and not just because of the high sex drive. There’s something to be said for dating a person who knows how a man’s brain works.”

He reached across the table and offered his hand. “It doesn’t bother me, Danni. As long as you don’t expect me to have sex with you while you’re a man, I’m cool with it.” He shrugged and smiled. “Nothing against bisexuals. I’m just not one of them.”

Danni returned the smile and took his hand. “It’s a deal,” she said. “So, I take it you’ve dated outside the Collective? I grew up in the crèche, and I never saw many androgynes there.”

Jared nodded. “My telepathy’s weak enough that it isn’t a danger to mundies. Plus, honestly, most teep women would rather be with someone who has some measurable talent.”

“Believe me, I’ve noticed,” Danni said dryly.

“I guess you would have,” Jared said, chuckling. “Still, I miss the link when it isn’t there. Just because I can have sex without entering a gestalt doesn’t mean I enjoy it. Well,” he amended, “not as much, anyway.”

The waiter arrived then and took their orders, and the rest of the dinner went surprisingly well. Danni found herself growing increasingly comfortable with Jared’s company; his relaxed demeanor and good humor were infectious. Their conversation ranged all over the map, from Collective politics to their misadventures in college. Jared, it seemed, had had relatively little to do with the Collective; born to mundane parents, he had been tested by the Hive at age eighteen after he discovered that he could hear his girlfriend’s thoughts when they made love. The Hive quickly deduced that he was a latent telepath, but his power was so faint that they judged that it wasn’t worth their time to train him in anything more than the basics of using his power. Jared soon realized that he would always be a second-class citizen if he joined the Hive, so he stayed in the mundane world and kept only casual connections with the rest of the psi community. Danni found it liberating to talk to such a kindred spirit, and the bottle of wine that Jared ordered helped to further loosen her tongue. She was careful not to talk about Victor, or the vampire syndicate, or the deaths of Del and Trace, but she shared stories of her younger life without hesitation.

By the time their dessert came it was obvious that Jared had been paying closer attention to what she said than Danni had. “So, where is Rebecca now?” he asked.

Danni looked up in surprise. “Sorry?”

“Well, she keeps coming up when you talk about your life. Based on your body language and your tone of voice, I gather that she’s still alive and the two of you are still close.” He must have seen something else in Danni’s reaction to that, because he leaned forward and she saw her own sadness reflected in his eyes. “But apparently not as close as you’d like to be,” he added softly.

Danni looked away, flustered. “That’s … um … wow.” She laughed nervously. “I’ve never dated a psychologist before. It’s kind of scary that you can do that without telepathy.”

“I’m sorry,” Jared said. He sounded like he meant it. “It’s hard to turn off the instincts once you have them. I just … want to know what I’m getting into, here.”

“I can sympathize,” Danni said. She took a drink of water and sighed. “Yes, I still love Rebecca. If she ever needed me, I would be there for her in a heartbeat. But she’s in a breeding cell now, and she’s pregnant with someone else’s kid.” She did not add that she hoped to get inside that breeding cell herself, someday. Most telepaths didn’t have a problem with the idea that you could love more than one person at a time; a deep gestalt made the concept of jealousy impossible, since every other person in the bond basically became a part of you. The whole social structure of the Collective was based on that principle.

But Jared hadn’t grown up inside the Collective, and Danni wasn’t sure yet how comfortable he was with the idea of polyamory. For that matter, she wasn’t even sure how Rebecca and her cell-mates would feel about bringing Danni into the breeding cell. For now, she was content to leave Jared with the impression that it was over between her and ‘Becca, even if she hoped that wouldn’t always be the case.

Jared winced. “It’s hard getting stuck on the outside. I’ve been there my whole life.”

Danni nodded. “I’m sick of it. I’m sick of other teeps looking at me like I’m pathetic and useless. Do you know how hard it is to get people to respect you as a person when they look at you and all they feel is pity? Gods, it’s like being…”

“Blind?” Jared suggested quietly.

The word stopped Danni in her tracks. She was suddenly aware of the anger in her own voice, and it surprised her with its intensity. She’d been suppressing more than she realized.

“Yeah,” she whispered. “Blind. Or deaf. Or … crippled.”

Jared reached over and took her hand. “And that’s why you decided to become a woman?” His voice was soft and gentle, but his hand felt strong and steady against her own. Danni found herself squeezing his hand, taking comfort in that strength, and that surprised her, too.

She felt her eyes getting misty, and she squeezed his hand more tightly. “Yes,” she said quietly. “The way I figure it, at least this way I’ll get some respect.” She let out a humorless laugh. “The Hive can always use more potential mothers, right?”

Jared frowned a little. “So why come to me?” he asked. “There must be stronger teeps in the Collective who would love to date a woman as beautiful as you. Why were you interested in me?”

Danni blushed and leaned in closer. “Because you know what it’s like when nobody wants you.”

Jared leaned in as well. “I wouldn’t say nobody,” he whispered.

They looked into each other’s eyes for a long moment, their faces only centimeters apart. Her eyes fluttered briefly downward. His mouth looked strong and inviting.

A rush of thoughts passed through her head in a blur. Do I really want this? she wondered. Is this part of who I am now? Am I doing this because it feels right, or is this just part of my plan to get Rebecca? Am I just using Jared to test my own sexuality, like some kind of lab rat? Or is this kinship I feel with him part of something real?

He smiled at her, desire glinting in his eyes, and another thought replaced the others: Stop thinking so hard.

She closed her eyes and kissed him.

Her body’s reaction was as sudden and surprising as touching a live wire. A spasm of raw need shot through her, and her doubts and hesitancy evaporated into nonexistence. There was no coherent thought to it at all, no justification or analysis. There was only the drive to touch, and to be touched in return.

She moaned and grabbed his head in both hands, deepening the kiss. She heard other customers murmuring around them, but she didn’t care. If she could have climbed across the table and straddled him there in the restaurant, she would have done it.

She gasped when they came up for air, then looked straight into his eyes.

“We have to get out of here,” she said.

The waiter had not even brought the check yet. Jared looked at her searchingly, his dark eyes unreadable. Then he pulled three fifty-mark bills out of his wallet and placed them on the table.

They boarded the lift and took the long, 1200-meter ride back to the parking garage without saying another word. Their mouths were busy with other things.

Sunday, June 2.

Danni Sharabi stood naked in front of her bedroom mirror, looking blankly at her own reflection. She ran her hands over the lines of her face, feeling the soft skin of her cheeks, the curving bow of her lips. She closed her eyes and remembered the night before, when strong, masculine hands had touched that skin and a man’s mouth had moved against her own.

Why had she kissed him? More to the point, why had kissing him felt like the right thing to do? And what in the Seventh Hell had happened to her afterwards?

She didn’t understand who she was anymore. She had gone from nervous indecision to wanton need in the space of two seconds — from a simple, gods-damned kiss. That wasn’t normal. She was pretty sure it wasn’t normal even for androgynes. Even Eva, who had been frank about her attraction to Danni from the beginning, had still had enough presence of mind to say no when she needed to.

Not like me. She thought back to Jared’s skimmer in the Citadel parking lot, where she had tried to pull down his pants and mount him there in the front seat. Jared had stopped her by rolling her over into her own seat and then buckling her into the harness while she was busy trying to loosen his belt. He threw himself back into his own seat with a visible effort of will, then covered up the buckle of her harness with one outstretched hand to keep her from disengaging it. She had struggled against the belts for at least ten seconds before the thought had even occurred to her.

“Snap out of it, Danni!

”But I waaannnt…”

”Not like this! Never like this. You’re drunk, and I won’t take advantage of that.”

She’d said some rather unkind things at that point, which he had graciously ignored. When she finally gave up and collapsed into sullen silence, he started the skimmer and took her straight home. She’d gone to her room and collapsed on her bed in an ugly mood. When Kevin knocked on her door to check on her, she pretended to be asleep.

She closed her eyes and thought about Rebecca. She remembered being Daniel and holding her in his arms, embracing her, making love to her. She remembered Rebecca’s smile, the one that could light up a room instantly. She remembered their first night together, on Rebecca’s sixteenth birthday: they had snuck out of the crèche a little after midnight and gone down to a vacant office a few storeys below the Westfall campus, where they had broken in a few nights before and hidden blankets, pillows and sleeping bags. She remembered their sour faces as they tried the beer that Del had acquired for them, and the heady, giddy feeling from the cannabis cigarettes. She remembered entering Rebecca for the first time, and the mingled feelings of pain and pleasure that had echoed through their telepathic bond. She remembered Rebecca’s body moving above Daniel’s, her soft curves traced in moonlight while he reached up and ran his teenaged hands clumsily over her breasts.

I miss you, she thought.

And with that, her body began to change.

The transformation was faster this time, and the sensations that came with it seemed less intense. Daniel had expected that; if androgynes were wracked by orgasmic pleasure every time they changed forms, he suspected that they might never leave their bedrooms.

The changes ceased, and Daniel opened his eyes to look at his familiar masculine form. Glossy black hair still fell to his shoulders, and his body was still hairless from the neck down, but other than that he looked the same as he had before taking the potion two nights ago.

He pulled on a t-shirt and a pair of boxers, then went out to the living room and grabbed the phone. He punched in the numbers harder than he probably needed to. The phone rang, and he began to pace restlessly through the room.

The other end picked up after the fourth ring. “Mnh … hello?” a man’s voice said blearily.

“Evan?”

There was a pause. “Just a minute.” Another pause, longer this time. When he spoke again, his voice was lower. “Daniel?”

“We need to talk, Evan.”

“Yes, well, could you do it a little quieter? I have company over. Gods, do you have any idea what time it is?”

Daniel glanced at the clock on the stove. “Eight twenty-three. Most of our friends in the Ecclesia are probably at their morning services by now.”

Evan groaned. “Bloody barbaric, if you ask me.”

“I didn’t, actually. Evan, listen to me: the spell that your wizard friend gave you to imitate the effects of the Curse. Are you sure that it works exactly the same way?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Daniel could hear the frown in Evan’s voice. “Well. Artax said that it’s as close to a perfect copy as he could make it.”

“And you trust his competence in this?”

“Yes, Daniel. For gods’ sake, the man’s been doing magic longer than our parents have been alive. He has over ten thousand citations in the manology journals. He’d be a bloody archmage by now if he didn’t hate the politics so much.”

“All right, I get the picture.” He took a deep breath, then let it out. “I think I’ve been enchanted, Evan. Someone’s screwing with my mind.”

“What makes you say that?”

Briefly, Daniel described what had happened in the restaurant, the lift, and the parking garage.

“You’re right, that isn’t normal,” Evan said. “Meet me at Artax’s shop at … let’s say noon. The old git probably won’t be open before then, anyway. Don’t worry, Daniel; if anything dodgy is going on, Artax will get to the bottom of it.”

Daniel nodded to himself. “All right. Thanks, Evan.”

“No worries. Might I make a request in return?”

“What’s that?”

“Promise me now, if you ever want to talk to me again before ten o’clock on a Sunday morning, that it will be as Danni, that she will be in my bed, and that she will be naked. Because I swear, if you attempt such a conversation again under any other conditions, I am going to have to kill you.”

Chapter Twelve

Daniel was already waiting for Evan outside SPELLS 4 U when the androgyne arrived at five minutes to noon. Even on a Sunday afternoon, Evan was dressed to impress; his white sportcoat shone brilliantly in the midday sun, and the collarless red shirt underneath it looked like it had come straight from the cleaners. Even his jeans looked classy on him. His violet eyes were tight with worry as he approached.

“Is he there yet?” he asked.

Daniel gestured at one of the signs in the window, which had CLOSED FOR BUSINESS printed in bright orange letters on a black field. Beneath this, someone had written in silver permanent marker: THIS MEANS YOU, CALLIE!

“Friendly,” Daniel said. “Would that be our Callie, by any chance?”

“Girl never could keep to a regular schedule,” Evan said. “Always waking people up at insane hours to help with bizarre problems. You’d get along famously, I think.”

“Very funny. Are you going to knock, or shall I?”

“Best be me. The last thing we need is you starting off on the wrong foot with him.”

At that moment the sign flipped over on its own, showing more orange text that said THE WIZARD IS IN. There was a clack as the bolts on the glass double-doors released themselves, followed by a sparkle of golden light that Daniel suspected was a sign of magic wards disengaging. One of the doors swung inward, and there was a jangling noise as it struck the chain of bells hanging just inside.

A wizened old man with a long and fluffy white beard appeared from behind one of the store shelves. He cinched his star-spangled blue bathrobe more tightly around his waist, then pulled out an enormous cone-shaped hat covered with astrological symbols and settled it on top of his woolly head. He adjusted his pince-nez and gestured to them irritably.

“Well, come on, then!” he said. “What do you need, an engraved invitation?”

Daniel hurried inside, with Evan following behind him. “Sorry,” he said, bowing to the old man in greeting. “We weren’t sure you were in yet. I’m—"

“You are Daniel Sharabi, sometimes known as Danni Sharabi, the telepath who will sacrifice anything for the love of Rebecca Brower,” the wizard said. “And you are here because you believe that you have been ensorcelled by something other than my potion.”

Daniel gaped. He shot an accusing look at Evan, but the androgyne held up his hands and shook his head. Daniel looked back at the old man. “How did you know that?”

The old man glared at him from beneath bushy brows, then pointed to a large wooden sign on the shop wall behind him. It said, BECAUSE I'M A WIZARD, THAT'S HOW.

“Try to keep up, Master Sharabi.” He turned and walked toward the back of the shop, gesturing for them to follow.

Daniel looked at Evan, who shrugged. “I told you he was a cranky git,” he whispered.

“Ever the charmer, Master Selindi!” Artax called back. “Why don’t you do us all a favor and hand the reins over to Mistress Eva? I daresay it would improve the scenery for all of us.”

Evan shook his head and followed the wizard, and Daniel went with him. “She still thinks you’re a dirty old man, Artax,” Evan said.

Artax laughed, a dry cackle that made the hairs on the back of Daniel’s neck stand on end. “Absolutely!” he said. “Haven’t you ever heard that the good die young, boy? Personally, I intend to live forever.”

They came to the back of the shop, where a long wooden counter was covered with alchemical equipment. Behind it was a doorway to a storeroom. Artax gestured for them to remain where they were, then vanished inside for a long moment before returning with a pair of goggles, two cheap white filter masks, and a small amber glass jar. The wizard put on the goggles and one of the masks, then handed the other to Evan, who quickly put it on.

“This may tingle a little,” Artax said, unscrewing the cap on the jar.

Daniel leaned forward to try to see what was in the jar. “Why, what is—agh!"

The old man tossed the contents of the jar in Daniel’s face, releasing a cloud of glittering orange dust. The particles began glowing almost immediately, then flew into Daniel’s open nose and mouth like a swarm of unusually curious gnats. Daniel coughed and gagged as a prickling, tingling sensation filled his lungs, then gradually settled itself inside his head.

“What — *cough* — in the hells was that?” he demanded.

Artax peered up at him through the goggles, which were now glowing the same shade of orange as the dust. “Enchantment tracers, Master Sharabi,” he said grandly. “Think of them as a barium milkshake for the mind. If anyone has altered your thoughts through the use of magic, these little wonders will make the changes stand out for easier examination.”

“Oh.” Daniel shifted his weight from one foot to the other, watching as the little wizard walked around him and examined him from all sides.

“Hm,” the wizard said.

“What? What is it?”

Artax ignored him. “Interesting. Would you mind changing back into female form, Master Sharabi?”

“Um.” Daniel looked over at Evan. “Here?”

“Yes, boy! Here, now, before the tracers fade out!”

“But my clothes—"

“Oh, stars above,” Artax muttered. He pulled out a wand and gestured at Daniel, showering his clothes in a brief spray of white light. “I’ve just put an autofit enchantment on your clothes. Now change, boy!”

Daniel gulped and closed his eyes. thinking hard about how he wanted very much to become Danni before the wizard got any more upset with him. The shifting began almost immediately, and in less than ten seconds Danni stood there in Daniel’s place, her body shivering with the aftereffects of the rapid transformation.

“Very nice,” Artax said approvingly, reaching up to run a finger over one of Danni’s hairless cheeks. “Some of my best work, if I do say so myself.”

“You want to check my teeth, too?” Danni muttered.

“I’m sure we could put your mouth to any number of fine uses, Miss Sharabi, but time presses, so we’ll have to settle for one. Master Selindi, if you would be so kind as to kiss our newly-minted maiden?”

Danni took a step back. “Excuse me?”

“Don’t be obtuse, girl,” Artax snarled. “How do you expect to find out if you’re ensorcelled without a little experimentation?”

Danni turned to find Evan right in front of her. He had already pulled off the breather mask and now wore an awkward smile instead. “You really do look fabulous, Danni,” he said.

Danni rolled her eyes and sighed. “All right, fine. Come here.” She put her arms around Evan’s neck and pressed her lips to his. The kiss was brief, chaste, and utterly failed to cause her world to explode with the power of a thousand suns.

Artax snorted. “You call that a kiss? Again, like you mean it!”

Danni and Evan looked at each other helplessly and shrugged. The second kiss was longer, and carried a small spark of what Danni had felt when she kissed Eva. When they parted, though, Danni’s mind was still clear. She felt a little flushed, but that was due at least as much to her embarrassment as it was to any attraction between her and Evan.

“Hmph,” Artax said. He pulled off the goggles and the breather mask and scowled up at Danni.

“Well?” she asked.

“Nothing,” the wizard said. “Apart from the pseudo-Curse, your mind shows no evidence of magical tampering.”

Danni stared at him. “Are you—" She had been about to ask Are you sure, but the old man’s expression stopped her cold. Instead she asked, “What about telepathy? Could you see it if a teep messed with my head?”

Artax smirked. “I thought you might ask about that,” he said, nodding. “You realize, of course, that magic and psionics don’t normally interact. A spell ward can’t block a telepath’s powers, for instance, and an esper can’t sense magical fields.”

Danni nodded. “But there are exceptions, right? The Elders taught us mind shields that they said would block out mind-reading spells.”

“I’m sure they did,” Artax said. “Magic and psi interaction isn’t impossible, it’s just complicated. Luckily for you, I’ve been working on exactly this problem for a while now. Come on in the back room.”

The wizard led them through a “storeroom” that was easily the size of a large warehouse. A seemingly endless array of long metal shelves rose ten meters from floor to ceiling, stocked with boxes and crates labeled in dozens of different languages, including Elvish, Yamatoan, and something that Danni suspected was Draconic. Here and there Danni saw tall wheeled staircases like the ones seen in larger libraries, as well as a forklift that had a large array of crystals and runes where the driver’s seat should have been.

Artax took them to a small office in the back left corner of the warehouse. Its plain white walls and pressboard furniture seemed more suited to a cheap home office than the inner sanctum of a master wizard. The only decorations on the wall were a pinup calendar from a famous men’s magazine and a large clock in the shape of a black and white cat. The cat’s tail formed the pendulum of the clock, and its large cartoon eyes moved back and forth across the room in time with the tail. Danni wasn’t sure if she had seen anything quite so tacky before in her life, and that included Artax’s hat and Nathan’s bust of Tiffany Angel.

“Here we are,” Artax said, gesturing at a plastic chair in front of a rectangular table. “Have a seat, girl.”

While Danni did as instructed, Artax gestured with his wand and muttered something in a language she didn’t recognize. From the opposite side of the office, a huge metal contraption rose off of its shelf and floated over to the table, coming to rest in front of Danni. It looked a little bit like the machines used to take wrap-around x-rays at the dentist’s office – if such a device had been built by a sadistic daedra with a love for crystals, vacuum tubes and leather straps.

“What do I do with this?” Danni asked.

Artax rolled his eyes. “Stick your head in it, of course!” He gestured to a vaguely helmet-shaped portion of the device.

Awkwardly, Danni leaned forward and put her head inside, placing her eyes over the two rubber eye-cups and bracing her forehead against a leather strap. Immediately other straps tightened around her head and neck, holding her firmly in place.

“Comfy?” Evan asked.

“Oh, it’s lovely,” Danni said sourly. “Why don’t we have you try it next, just for giggles?”

“Quiet, both of you.” Artax fluttered around the machine, adjusting knobs and dials and flicking switches. After a minute or two he was apparently satisfied, because Danni could no longer hear him or sense him nearby. There was nothing to look at inside the eye-cups, except for darkness and the vague, hallucinatory patterns that the eyes conjure for themselves when they are deprived of light.

“All right, let’s try it,” Artax said. “Evan, clear out. This is all experimental magitech, so I don’t want you to get too close and foul something up. Ready, Danni?”

Danni took a deep breath. “As ready as I’ll ever be,” she said.

“In four, three, two, one…”

A kaleidoscope of light exploded across Danni’s vision. She felt something inside her mind – not a telepathic presence, exactly, but something more alien and impersonal. It scurried through her thoughts like a large metal insect with a built-in camera, taking snapshots and sending them back out of her head down a long wire connected to its abdomen. It seemed drawn to traumatic and unusual memories, including her date with Jared and the disaster at the skyport — but rather than looking at the remembered images themselves, it seemed to be examining the psychological foundations in which the memories were anchored. Danni thought of an engineer examining a damaged building, looking for cracks in the load-bearing walls so he could decide whether to repair the structure or rebuild from scratch.

The process seemed to take forever. Finally the lights went out, the crawling sensation in her head ceased, and the straps released their hold on Danni’s head. She pulled herself out of the device and looked up at Artax, who was seated at his desk and studying a set of incomprehensible-looking data on his computer.

“Well, what do you see?” Danni asked, nearly breathless with anticipation.

Artax frowned and paged through a few more screens full of results. “Nothing,” he said.

Danni blinked. “What?”

“Nothing out of the ordinary, I should say. Telepathic gestalts seem to leave a mark on the psyche, but that’s hardly unexpected and usually isn’t invasive. The sort of radical personality shift that you described would leave big, noticeable scars if it were done telepathically. You can’t make a change that big without causing damage unless you do it slowly and carefully, like the therapists who rebuild the minds of the criminally insane.”

“Visited any mental hospitals lately?” Evan asked.

Danni shot him a dirty look. “This doesn’t make any sense,” she said, looking back at Artax. “Please, sir, I’m not trying to contradict you, but I know what I felt. If it’s not magic and it’s not telepathy, what could do that to me?”

Artax got up from his chair, came around the desk and leaned back against it, stroking his beard thoughtfully. “You said that the key thing that was different was the desire, yes? You still had the same thoughts, but they weren’t important because your desires had changed.”

Danni nodded.

“There is a theory – a hypothesis, really — that desire stems from three sources.” Artax lifted a finger. “The first source is what we call the animal mind, or the biological body. These sorts of desires are driven by basic biological imperatives. Your body needs energy, so you feel hunger. Your blood’s getting too thick, so you feel thirsty. You need to reproduce, you feel horny. Simple hindbrain stuff. The animal mind doesn’t care how its needs get met, as long as they’re met quickly.”

“Got it,” Danni said. This was all familiar territory, at least so far.

Artax raised a second finger. “The second source of desire is the conscious mind. These are the desires that stem from your long-term goals, complicated objectives that the animal mind doesn’t have the brains to think about. You want to make good money and have a satisfying career, so you feel a desire to go to university. You want your children to be taken care of, so you desire a spouse whom you enjoy living with and who you know is responsible. Incidentally, this is also where desires come from that are motivated by your experiences: If you’ve ever been mugged, you might feel a very strong desire to buy a gun or learn how to fight, so you can protect yourself if it ever happens again.”

“And all of that happens in the cerebral cortex,” Danni put in.

“Exactly. Complicated thoughts like those require complicated brain-space to work in. A rat can’t feel those kinds of desires because it doesn’t have the framework to even come up with them.” He held up his third finger. “But the third class of desire is the kind for which no biological or conscious motivator can be determined.”

Danni frowned. “Like what? Surely every desire has to come down to a combination of your biological needs or your conscious needs.”

“Studies with twins tell us otherwise,” Artax said. “Two people, genetically identical, raised in the same home, often treated as if they were interchangeable because the damned fool parents don’t know any better. So why does one decide to be a doctor while the other wants to be an astronaut? Why does one love Pyralian food when the other can’t stand it? Why does one love the color orange and the other one won’t have orange anywhere in his house? These aren’t choices where one is notably better or worse than the other, so why do the twins choose differently?”

Danni thought about that. “Maybe just a desire to be different from each other?” she suggested. “Maybe, subconsciously, they have a biological need to be recognized as distinct people. Maybe that will improve their odds of reproductive success, if they can make themselves unique from each other.”

“Maybe,” Artax allowed. “Or maybe there are needs inside us that are deeper than achieving goals or satisfying our biological cravings. Why do people create art? Why invent music? Why do people feel the need to worship something, be it a celebrity or a dryad or an unseen Creator?”

Danni had wondered about that one for years, and she still didn’t feel any closer to an answer. Artax seemed to read that in her eyes.

“That’s the crux of the hypothesis. There are desires that come from neither the hindbrain nor the conscious mind, but from the spark of individuality that resides inside each one of us and makes us unique. These are the desires of the spiritual mind – the desires of the soul.”

Danni sat back in her chair. “It’s an interesting thought, I’ll grant you,” she said. “But what does it have to do with me? My reactions to Jared seemed to be pretty hindbrain-oriented.”

“But see, that’s the thing,” Artax said, pointing at her. “If someone had just screwed with your libido, you would have had the same reaction to Evan. You didn’t, and the enchantment tracers showed no sign of your biological impulses being manipulated. Likewise, the cerebral scanner showed no evidence of changes to your conscious thought patterns.” He tugged on a lock of his hair, twisting it around his finger. “No, I think that whatever happened to you was a change at the level of the soul.”

A chill ran down Danni’s spine at those words. “But who would want to change my soul?” she asked.

Artax raised one bushy eyebrow. “That’s a good question. A better question is: who could?”

Danni and Evan exchanged a look.

“Of course, it might not be a person at all,” Artax said. “It might be some sort of natural response to what you’ve been going through. The most useful lore on the nature of the soul was done by the Necromancers, and most of it was lost ten thousand years ago. The field has hardly been touched ever since, and even someone like Rickkter or Talia or Agemnos probably doesn’t know the tenth part of what there is to know about such things. We know that the soul is an organic thing: you can share pieces of it with another, lose part of it, grow it back again. But we can’t do much in the way of analyzing it, and we can’t interview it except through the filter of the conscious mind, because the soul on its own doesn’t have a brain to think with.”

“So, what are you saying?” Danni asked frowning. “That my soul decided to turn me into a raving slut when Jared kissed me?”

Artax made a noncommittal grunt. “You’ve certainly put yourself under an amazing amount of pressure to conform to the Collective’s way of doing things. Maybe it’s possible that you have a soul-deep need for belonging that’s so intense that it drove your breeding instincts into full thrust when you met a man you could actually have sex with.”

Danni buried her head in her hands. “In other words,” she groaned, “I’m a slut.” It wasn’t a pleasant thought, and tears came to her eyes just from considering it. All this time I thought I was doing everything for Rebecca, she thought, and apparently I just want to get fucked.

Artax offered her a handkerchief. Gods, he is old. Who uses handkerchiefs anymore? She dabbed her eyes and blew her nose.

“If I were you, Ms Sharabi,” he said quietly, “I would pray that there’s nothing more to it than that. Pray to whatever gods you serve that, in your heart of hearts, you really are a raving slut. Because the alternative explanation is that there is someone out there with the power to change people’s souls, to change the deepest desires of their hearts without leaving a trace of magical or telepathic evidence.” He looked at each of them, his expression dour. “I don’t know about you, but I’d rather deal with being a slut than have a world with a monster like that living in it.”

Artax’s words haunted Danni all through the bus ride home. She’d tried to change back to Daniel before leaving the magic shop, but her thoughts were scattered and she couldn’t really summon up a compelling reason to change back. All of her thoughts of Rebecca were clouded over by the memories of her date with Jared. She’d always believed that a future with Rebecca was what she wanted more than anything, but her recent experiences seemed to make a mockery of that idea.

Was she really so desperate for belonging that she was ready to give everything to the first male teep that she made a connection with? Would she do the same thing again for the next man who came along? And just as importantly, had Daniel always had these tendencies and just never realized it?

She thought back to Daniel’s teenage years and tried to remember what his sexual encounters had been like. Though he had known Rebecca the longest, and she was the only girl Daniel would have said he loved, he had been with other girls, and Rebecca had been with other people as well. Sexual experimentation was expected among teenagers in the crèche, and the resulting bonds often played a major part in the formation of breeding cells. The fact that Daniel was tall, athletic and good-looking had also made him popular with the girls, back before his low power rating had become such a stigma. Still, Danni couldn’t remember any of those girls having the same kind of effect on Daniel that Rebecca had. She couldn’t be sure, but it definitely seemed like her reaction to Jared was a sign of a major change in her psyche.

That conclusion left several possible implications, none of them good. A small and desperate part of her brain still held on to the idea that someone had changed her, that some unseen monster had reached inside her soul and made her want things that she wasn’t supposed to want. The idea was horrifying, but at least it meant there was a chance that someone could reverse whatever had been done to her.

Of course, that would entail finding whoever it was who hypothetically had this power to alter her soul. She briefly considered the possibility that Jared had done it, but she soon discarded the idea as ludicrous. She’d never even heard of such a power before, and surely the Collective would have discovered it if he did have it. Besides, Jared had behaved honorably with her. He’d gone to great efforts to stop her from having sex with him in her altered state, despite his obvious desire to do so. Somehow she didn’t think that a person would brainwash someone and then refuse to take advantage of the benefits.

She sighed and slumped her head against the window of the skimmer bus. No; like it or not, she couldn’t blame her actions on a monster that probably didn’t even exist. This was apparently something she’d done to herself. The loneliness, the shock and isolation because of Del and Trace’s deaths, the need to really belong to the Hive … all of those factors must have combined with the effects of the androgyne spell, and something inside her had shifted radically as a result. She wasn’t sure if it qualified as going insane, or just as an unpleasant epiphany, but somehow she’d gone from a single-minded devotion to Rebecca to being the woman who couldn’t say no.

At least where other telepaths are involved. Apparently her subconscious survival instincts were still intact, since she hadn’t had any response to the kiss with Evan. She was grateful for that much, at least; if Danni Sharabi was fated to be a slut, at least she wouldn’t end up dragging some poor mundy down into an unbreakable gestalt.

A slut. Even in her head, the word sounded dirty and shameful, and she winced at the thought of it. She didn’t want to think of herself that way, but the evidence for it seemed pretty strong.

Then again, she thought, what does the word mean, anyway? Was it just a woman who liked to have a lot of sex? Hells, that was every androgyne and a whole lot of other people, too. Was it a woman who had sex with a lot of different partners? The Sensualists did that, and got paid well for it, but theirs was a respected profession. Was it a woman whose sexual appetites were somehow deviant or outside the norm? Well, by most people’s way of thinking the Psi Collective already fell into that category. Not too many mundies would understand the rationale behind the breeding cells, or the reason why they worked. Was it a woman who wouldn’t refuse sex from anyone? If so, that didn’t apply to Danni; she’d already demonstrated that she could control herself around mundies like Evan. Well, admittedly there had been the incident with Eva on the dance floor, but she’d been new to the Curse’s effects at that point and wasn’t prepared for her heightened sex drive. She was confident that if she found herself in the same position now she’d do a better job of restraining herself.

Now that she thought about it, Danni couldn’t see any rational reason for why the whole stigma of “the slut” even existed. As long as she was careful to use protection, and stayed away from the mundanes, why should it matter who she wanted to sleep with? If she liked Jared and wanted to have sex with him, why should she feel ashamed of that? Why should she keep punishing herself by holding on to the notion of some idealized, faery-tale romance that would never happen? Why shouldn’t she enjoy herself in the here and now?

The skimmer-bus dropped her off at the usual corner, and Danni strode back to her apartment with a sense of purpose. Once she got inside, she went immediately to the telephone.

A flashing light on the handset showed her that there was a message waiting. She pushed the playback button.

“Hey, D, it’s me,” Rebecca’s voice said. ”I know you said we’d talk later, but it’s been a few days since … well, since everything happened. I wanted to check and make sure you’re doing okay.” She paused, and Danni could sense her hesitancy. ”Look, just give me a call when you get the chance, okay? I miss you, and … there’s, um, there’s some stuff going on. I could be kinda busy here pretty soon, and I want to see you again before … well, before. So, yeah. Call me, ‘kay? Love ya.”

The machine beeped. “You have no more messages.”

Danni looked at the phone for a long moment, considering. She turned on the handset, started dialing Rebecca’s number, then stopped and turned it off again. There was no going back to the way things used to be, and she was sick of hurting all the time.

“Let it be,” she whispered to herself. “Just let it be.”

Reaching down, she pushed the button to erase the old messages. Then she dialed a different number. The phone picked up on the second ring.

“Danni?”

“I want to see you, Jared,” Danni said. Her voice was clear and certain. “As soon as you can get here.”

Chapter Thirteen

Wednesday, June 5.

“Any news?”

Miriam could practically hear the young man fidgeting on the other end of the phone line. “I’m afraid not, ma’am. I’ve put out observers all over the city, everywhere we could manage it. There’s no sign of them.” He hesitated. “Permission to speak freely, ma’am?”

“Granted.”

“This would be a lot easier if we could use our powers, ma’am. Give me a few good espers and permission to use them and we could find the girl in three days, tops.”

“No, Peter. Abbey Preston is ESP-sensitive – not heavily so, but enough to know if she’s being tracked. If she tells Victor about it, he’ll take her even further off the grid. I don’t want to risk her being unable to come home again when she decides that she needs to do so.”

“Understood, ma’am. We’ll do everything we can to find her.”

“I’ve no doubt.” Miriam looked up at the number on the apartment door in front of her. She nodded to herself; she was in the right place. “Tell your agents to check in verbally every twelve hours. If they make a positive identification, have them call me immediately. Don’t send anything through the mind-links, Peter. This operation does not exist, understand?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Peter sounded deeply unhappy, but she knew he would do as she asked.

“Good man. I’ll speak to you in three days if there is no other news. Bakhtavar out.”

She tapped a button on her wireless headset and ended the call. The door was already in the process of opening when she reached up to knock. The young pregnant woman who held it open for her lowered her eyes and smiled shyly as Miriam looked at her.

“Hello, Rebecca,” Miriam said, her voice gentle. “Were you listening just now?”

Rebecca looked mortified. “What? Oh, no-no-no, Mistress! I would never eavesdrop on you, ma’am.” She blushed furiously. “I just channeled that you were at the door, is all.”

Miriam put a hand on the younger woman’s shoulder. “It’s all right. Are the others here?”

Rebecca nodded. “Everybody’s inside, ma’am.” She stepped aside and held the door for Miriam as she entered the apartment.

Brian and the other wives got up from the couches in the living room and bowed to her in greeting. The last person in the room, a teenaged girl with unkempt hair, remained perched on the back of one of the overstuffed chairs, her feet resting on the seat cushion. She eyed Miriam with a mixture of wariness and curiosity.

“Brian. Fiona. Sasha,” Miriam said, nodding to each of them in turn.

“Elder Bakhtavar,” Brian said. “Thank you for coming.”

“Of course.” She turned to the mundane girl and gave her a full bow from the waist. “And you must be Callie. Brian tells me that your assistance has been invaluable. On behalf of all of my people, I thank you.”

The corner of Callie’s lip twitched, but it didn’t quite turn into a smile. At last she nodded to Miriam, not taking her eyes off of her. Miriam supposed it was as close to showing proper manners as she was going to get from the girl. “Well, hey,” Callie said, shrugging with obvious discomfort. “Thank me when we get through this, right? We aren’t even within five klicks of the hard part yet.”

“So I have gathered.” Miriam sat down in one of the chairs and faced the others, clasping her hands in front of her. Rebecca followed her into the living room and took a seat between Brian and Sasha, her dark eyes wide and troubled.

Miriam looked at each of them in turn. “I won’t waste time with speeches,” she said. “You know as well as I that the Hive has made more than its share of missteps in recent months. I bear some of the blame for those mistakes myself. Now, if the Great Maker wills it, I shall help to set right the things that can still be mended. Tell me what you have learned about this vault.”

Briefly, they described the storage facility at Viscount Security Systems and the three layers of defenses around it. Miriam noticed that Callie’s eyes kept shifting between herself and the door. With her psi-enhanced senses Miriam could smell the girl’s nervous agitation, and she heard her heartbeat quicken every time that Miriam looked at her. Interesting.

“It’s not the defenses on the vault itself that worry me,” Brian said. “The problem is how we’re going to get to the vault in the first place. Viscount closes for business at 6 PM, and whole office goes into lockdown mode. We’re talking about lead-lined blast doors, cold-wrought iron tracing inside the walls, defensive wards bound into mithril.”

“The whole place is a black box,” Callie said. “No form of magical surveillance can penetrate it. I’m guessing that holds for psi powers, too.”

Miriam felt a sudden wave of anxiety coming from Rebecca. “Does that mean your powers won’t work when you’re inside?” the younger woman asked.

“No, they should work fine,” Brian said. “But the walls of the office will act like a black hole. We won’t be able to communicate telepathically with anyone on the outside, and you won’t be able to see what we’re doing in there.”

“Can you bypass the defenses electronically?” Miriam asked.

Brian shook his head. “No. That’s what I meant when I said it goes into lockdown. From 6 PM until 7 AM the next business day, no one can get into the complex unless someone opens the doors from the inside. Malcolm ard’Valos himself couldn’t get in.”

Miriam looked into his eyes for a long moment before sitting back in the chair. “You have a plan.”

“We do,” Brian said, exchanging a glance with Fiona. “But not one we can pull off without help.”

“Go on.”

“Well, like we said, getting in after closing is a no-go. We could try to infiltrate Viscount directly – put one of our people on the inside – but that would take months, and we’d run the risk of them being caught and interrogated.”

“Or worse,” Fiona said darkly.

“Or worse,” Brian agreed. “If the Hive’s suspicions about the package are accurate, we don’t have that kind of time. Our best bet is to get someone inside during normal business hours as a prospective customer, then make sure that Viscount loses track of them.”

“Which is no cakewalk either,” Callie said. “Every visitor gets an electronic ID badge from the receptionist, and their names and contact info are all logged in a database. Every time one of those badges walks through a doorway, the system makes a note of it, so they can track your movements anywhere in the office. At the end of the day a security op checks that log and makes sure everyone’s out before they lock it down.”

Miriam turned to Brian. “I assume that you are volunteering yourself to act as the hidden agent?”

Brian shrugged. “There’s no one better suited to it. I can trick the system into opening one of the doors without setting off any alarms.”

“Can you also edit the security records to make it appear that you’ve left?”

“I can,” Brian said, “but we also have to deal with the human element. If I’m there by myself, or with a small group, the employees are going to remember me. It won’t matter if the computer says I’m gone if they see four people walk in to the office and three people walk out. We’re going to need a big group of accomplices on this – at least a dozen – so that casual observers won’t be able to keep track of all of our faces. We bring in a big tour group, I slip away to hide, and the others cover for me if anyone notices I’m gone. Then the tour group leaves, the facility gets locked down for the night, and I let in the safe-cracking team.”

“I understand,” Miriam said. “What about security cameras? I should think that someone will notice if the blast doors open, and causing a glitch in the camera feed would be nearly as suspicious.”

“There’s another way inside,” Callie said. “Even Viscount has to follow Imperial safety regs. There are emergency exits in different parts of the office to make sure that they can evacuate everybody if they need to. They’re still being watched, but not as closely. The off-site security ops probably won’t notice if Brian loops the feed.”

Miriam took a deep breath, let it out again, and finally nodded. “All right. Fiona, Sasha, what’s your assessment of the plan?”

The two women exchanged a look, and Fiona spoke for both of them. “The odds are favorable, provided that we have access to the necessary personnel and equipment.”

“And provided that we have a fast, secure way of getting them out of there afterwards,” Sasha added.

Brian picked up a data card and a computer printout that had been sitting on an end table. “This is a summary of what we need,” Brian said, as he handed the sheet to Miriam. “The specs and mission details are on the data card.”

Miriam glanced at the summary sheet. She winced at some of the equipment listed there. Much of it was military-grade hardware. “I can manage this,” she told them, “but it’s going to take time. A couple of weeks, at least.”

Sasha frowned. “For the last mission, the Elder got us disguise charms, fake IDs and a nondetection scroll in less than twenty-four hours.”

“I can’t use my capacity as an Elder for this,” Miriam said. “If I do, the other Elders will take notice. The Hive may forbid me from helping you.”

Rebecca bristled, looking both angry and hurt. Callie shook her head and snorted. Sasha bit her lip and looked away, while Fiona stared at Miriam, her cool green eyes betraying nothing. Brian spoke for them all.

“I think we’d like to hear an explanation for that, Elder Bakhtavar.”

Miriam sighed and gave them all an apologetic look. “Recent events have divided opinions within the Hive,” she said. “The group-mind is conflicted on how to proceed. Some believe that we should launch an immediate offensive against the vampire syndicate, before they can use whatever biological weapons their foreign partners have developed for them. Others believe we should inform the government. A third faction believes that we should work quietly to find out what the syndicate has developed and avoid doing anything rash.”

“I don’t get it,” Callie said. “I thought the whole point of this group-mind thing was make unanimous decisions easier.”

“It is,” Miriam said, “and it does. But unanimous decisions require a solid understanding of the facts and their implications. In the absence of solid data, all we have to fall back on are our opinions.”

Callie smirked. “And opinions are like assholes: Everybody’s got one, and most of ‘em are full of shit.”

Miriam grimaced at the girl’s coarse language, but she nodded. “Essentially, yes. Often a strong personality can sway others to agree with his or her opinion, but in this case the situation is controversial enough that we have several prevailing views vying for acceptance.”

“And in the meantime, nothing gets done,” Brian said, sounding disgusted. “So what does this have to do with freezing us out?”

“I’m afraid that none of the major factions trust you at the moment,” Miriam said. “You, Fiona and Sasha all served under Victor hin’Kavos during your time with the Military Intelligence Directorate. You are on record as three of his favorite operatives.” She looked down at her hands. “With Victor’s recent departure from the Collective, many of the Elders have allowed certain … negative feelings … to color their perceptions of anyone associated with him.”

A ripple of confusion ran through the room. “I don’t get it,” Sasha said, frowning. “Victor caught the rogue teep who killed Del and Trace. He got the Elders’ blessing to retire. Why would they be angry at him?”

Miriam hesitated, debating how much to tell them. “When Victor left us,” she said at last, “he did not leave alone. Unbeknownst to the rest of the Hive, he had fostered a relationship with one of the students at Westfall, and he apparently persuaded her to join him.” She pressed her lips together, and felt her eyes narrow at the memory of the two letters they’d found in Abbey’s room. “The girl in question was possibly the strongest telepath we’d ever had at Westfall.”

Callie covered her mouth, and Miriam heard her suppress a snicker. She resisted the urge to snap at the girl for her rudeness; mannerless Street rat that she was, they still needed her.

Sasha reached up to her neck and clasped the silver yew tree that hung there. “Elder Bakthavar,” she asked, “how the hell is it that we never heard anything about this? A sexual relationship with a student is a huge breach of conduct on Kano Victor’s part. Why hasn’t anyone gone after them and dragged his ass in front of a tribunal?”

Miriam sighed. “We can’t prove the relationship was sexual before she left. And even if we could, I fear it will endanger the child’s life if we pursue them too openly. We are taking steps to find the girl, but it has to remain quiet for now. The only reason I mention it is because you were three of Victor’s favorites, and the ill will he has created with the Elders is filtering down to you.”

“The Elders can’t believe that we had anything to do with Victor taking that girl,” Brian said.

“Of course not. But the fear is that his rebellious attitudes may have been transferred to you by your long association with him. I’m afraid your defense of Josephine Matthews has been seen as a bad sign.”

Sasha scoffed. “Don’t tell me you agree with what they’re doing to her!”

“I … appreciate their motives,” Miriam said, “but I take issue with their methods. In any case, we know that Josephine recently received a large sum of money from an unnamed source. This has allowed her to remain outside direct involvement in the Collective, which the Hive had hoped to avoid. No one knows who made the donation, but your cell was at the top of the list of potential suspects.”

Brian and his wives exchanged astonished glances. “I’m sorry, Elder, but we don’t know anything about this,” he said. “We’ve been discussing ways we might be able to help Jo and her daughter, but…” He shook his head.

“It’s all right,” Miriam said, raising a hand. “You don’t have to tell me anything. Whether you were involved with this particular incident or not, it doesn’t change our situation. I can help you to complete your mission, but I will need to be subtle and use my back-door connections in order to do so.” She raised the printed summary Brian had given her. “I believe I can get you everything on this list. Just keep a low profile and give me time to do it properly.”

Brian and Sasha both nodded wearily. Fiona shifted in her seat and asked, “What would you like us to do in the interim, Mistress?”

Miriam blinked, mildly surprised by the woman’s deferential tone. “Gather all the information on Viscount that you can,” she said. “Set up the false identities you intend to use and arrange for the tour of the Viscount office.” She rose to her feet, and the others did likewise, with the exception of Callie. She looked at each of them in turn. “This operation needs to be perfect,” she said. “Successful completion of the mission objectives with no casualties. If we fail, the Hive will certainly break up your cell and strip away every privilege you’ve earned for yourselves in the last five years … and I myself will pay the price for my collusion.”

Callie raised her eyebrows. “And you’re still willing to stick your neck out, even with all that?”

Miriam raised her chin and looked the girl straight in the eyes. “I am,” she said. “We have been rudderless for too long. It is well past time for someone in the Hive leadership to begin leading.”

“But doesn’t that go against the whole idea of the Hive?” Sasha asked. “The Elders are supposed to give counsel, and the Hive-mind decides.”

Miriam smiled humorlessly. “Every ideal system breaks down eventually,” she said. “And sometimes even a communal democracy needs to be protected from itself.”

“Okay, good. Now, hold that pose for just a few seconds … great. All right, you can switch back.”

Danni let out a breath and relaxed, letting her body return to its more comfortable female form. It was getting easier to consciously control her transformations, but lately she could feel the strain of it when she returned to Daniel’s old form. On some level, it was like her body knew that she was supposed to be a woman.

She smiled. And why shouldn’t it? she thought. I’m finally enjoying my life again. I'm even enjoying this.

She arched her back and raised her hands above her head. Nathan changed positions and snapped a few more photos with his still camera.

“Very nice definition,” he said, as he paused to adjust one of the lights in the makeshift studio. “We’ve been wanting to study the effects of the Curse on musculature, but it’s hard to find test subjects who are toned enough to collect good data.”

Danni ran a hand over her taut, muscular stomach and smiled again. “I guess all those hours in the samnak are paying off, then.”

Nathan grinned. “Most definitely. Are you doing all right, D? Not too hot or anything?”

Danni shook her head. Kevin had allowed them to use his sanctum for Nathan’s research project, and they had covered the walls with plain white sheets that made a stark contrast with Danni’s skin. The adjustable spot-lamps that Nathan had brought in made the room warmer than usual, but Danni found it comfortable enough. The fact that she wasn’t wearing a stitch of clothing probably helped.

It was funny, she thought: a few days ago, she would have been bothered by the thought of Nathan taking pictures of her naked. But ever since she had decided to stop fighting against her own subconscious desires – the “desires of her spiritual mind,” as Artax had called them – she found that things had become easier. Spending time with Jared seemed to help. He and Danni had gotten together each of the last three nights, and his wholehearted acceptance of her identity as a woman made it easier to accept it herself. Even Nathan’s ogling gave her a little thrill at the knowledge of how desirable she was.

To his credit, Nathan had been far more professional than Danni had expected. She could sense his lust for her every time his skin brushed against hers, but he had kept his urges to himself and focused on collecting the data his research group required. Even when he had recorded close-up images of Danni’s genitals changing form, Nathan had kept a scientist’s detachment through the entire process, despite the fact that his face was only a few decimeters from her exposed crotch.

Danni had learned a few things about herself, too. The Curse was more versatile than a simple on/off switch between male and female forms; if she thought about it, she could consciously control the degree of masculinity or femininity her body displayed. In the last few days she had taken on the form of a slender, effeminate man, a boyish woman with small breasts and narrow hips, and a buxom sexpot with a dramatic hourglass figure. Her appearance wasn’t the only thing that changed, either; she found that her sex drive was enhanced when she shifted to a more feminine form. According to the research Nathan had showed her, androgynes might even give off special pheromones when they were in their more extreme forms – pheromones that would increase the sexual receptivity of the people around them.

I’ll have to remember that, she thought, grinning at the possibilities that came to mind. Still, on the whole, she felt most comfortable in a form like the one she’d first changed into: athletic and slender, unmistakably feminine without being a purely sexual object.

Nathan took a few more photos, then nodded in satisfaction and turned off the spot-lamps. “That’s enough for today,” he said. “I need to pull these up on the computer and make sure everything’s usable. Thanks again for doing this, Danni.”

Danni smiled and pulled on her robe. “Not a problem,” she said. “I’m actually having fun.”

Nathan blushed, grinning like a schoolboy. “Excellent,” he said. Clutching his camera in one hand and his video recorder in the other, he ducked out of the sanctum and headed off to his bedroom.

Kevin was leaning up against the wall next to the door when she came out. He smirked and nodded down the hallway in the direction Nathan had gone. “Is he behaving himself?” he asked.

“More than you would believe.” She took a sip from her water bottle, then gestured toward the sanctum. “I think we’re done in there for now. I can get changed and clean things up, if you’re expecting a client.”

“Take your time,” Kevin said. “Stephen and I are going to a movie tonight. You got a call from Jared, by the way.”

Danni perked up immediately. “Yeah?”

Kevin nodded. “He says that he’s finished testifying at that competency hearing, and he’s free for the rest of the evening if you want to do something.”

Danni murred happily and headed over to the telephone in the living room. Half a minute later Jared was en route to the apartment. She put the headset back in its cradle and turned to find Kevin hovering a meter away.

“It’s going well, then, I take it?” he asked.

She gave him a self-satisfied smile and nodded once.

“Have you slept with him?”

Her smile faltered a little. “Not yet,” she admitted. “Just a few kisses here and there. He’s been a complete gentleman.” Sometimes to a fault, she added silently.

Kevin wasn’t a telepath, but he must have read her thoughts in her expression. “But you want to sleep with him,” he said.

She felt herself blush, but she nodded. “I’ve been, um … sort of fantasizing about it.” It was true; they hadn't had another incident like the one at the Panoramic, but Danni's subconscious had been busy at night with thoughts of what she might like to do with Jared.

Kevin sat down on the arm of one of the chairs and looked at her closely. “And you’re sure that this is you who wants this?” he asked softly. “It’s not just the magic talking?”

She shook her head firmly. “Artax checked that,” she said. “This is a part of me, Kevin. Deep down, on the inside. I don’t know how long it’s been there, but it’s there. And yeah, that’s a little scary, but I’m only going to cause myself more pain if I deny it. I can’t be afraid to embrace what I am.” She shrugged. “I learned that from watching you.”

Kevin closed his eyes for a moment and smiled. He came over to her and planted a gentle kiss on her forehead. “Then I wish you the best,” he said. “And I want you to have this.”

He pressed something into the palm of her hand. She looked down and saw a pendant attached to a leather cord. The wooden disk was about the size of a quarter-mark and had a prominent protection glyph etched into one side.

“A birth-control amulet?” she asked, looking up at him.

“I picked it up for you on the way home from work,” he said. “Just in case you need it.”

Danni slipped the amulet around her neck, feeling a flush of excitement as she did so. “Thank you, Kevin. Thank you.” Impulsively, she leaned forward and planted a kiss on his cheek.

He smiled and put a hand on her shoulder. “Be careful, all right?”

She nodded, but her mind was already swimming with possibilities. She could hardly wait for Jared to arrive.

He showed up at the door twenty minutes later. Danni let him inside and greeted him with a hug and a peck on the lips. "Glad you could make it," she said.

"That makes two of us," he said, grinning.

"Hey, Danni!" Nathan called from his bedroom. "Come here a second, will you?"

Jared gave her a questioning look. She shrugged and headed down the hallway. "Come on. You may as well meet the flatmates."

Nathan was waiting for her with a computer printout and a pen. "This is a release form," he said. "I need to you sign this before I can upload the data to our server."

Danni scanned over the legal text briefly; it seemed straightforward enough. She signed it and passed the sheet back to him.

"Thanks. We'll do another session whenever it's convenient for you." His eyes drifted over to a spot above Danni's shoulder. "So, is this our lucky friend from Metamor's Finest?"

"Oh! Sorry," Danni said. "Jared, this is Nathan Levy, our resident computer genius. Nate, this Jared Tamlin."

Nathan offered his hand to Jared. "Pleased to meet the man who won the heart of our fair belle," he said, grinning amiably.

Jared took his hand and clasped it briefly, but there was no warmth in the gesture. His eyes scanned the room, and Danni could see a tightening at their corners.

"How do you do," he said.

Nathan's smile slowly faded. "Well, um, pretty well, I think. I've never had any complaints." He laughed, and there was no mistaking the nervousness in the sound.

Danni looked back and forth between them, confused. What was Jared's problem?

Jared smiled politely at Nathan's joke. "Fair enough. So … how old are you, Nathan?" he asked. His tone of voice was almost too casual.

Nathan cleared his throat and scratched the bridge of his nose. "Um. Twenty-three."

"Ahh." Jared glanced upward, and now Danni saw what he was looking at: one of the many posters of scantily-clad women that covered the walls and ceiling of Nathan's room. Oh, she thought.

Danni touched his shoulder. "Jared, hon, we should get going."

Jared took her hand and smiled. "I'll be right along. Why don't you go ahead and get your shoes, and I'll meet you at the door in a second." The touch of his skin against hers created a telepathic contact, and she heard his unspoken thought, I need to have a word with this guy.

Be nice, she said firmly, then broke the contact and went to her room to retrieve her shoes and purse. As promised, Jared met her at the door a moment later.

"What was that about?" she asked, once they were outside.

He grimaced. "I just told him that he ought to be more thoughtful about how he decorates. It's disrespectful for him to have all of those … girly pictures plastered everywhere. Women shouldn't be treated like sex objects. I could forgive it if he were a teenager, but the man's twenty-three years old. He needs to grow up."

Danni frowned. "You shouldn't judge him before you've gotten a chance to know him, Jared. Nate's a nice guy. Okay, maybe he's a little horny, but he's a gentleman in the ways that really matter." She put a hand on his arm. "Don't bring it up again, all right? I don't need you to protect me." She smirked. "I was a horny guy once, too, remember?"

He ducked his head and grinned sheepishly. "You make it easy to forget, sometimes," he said. "Maybe you're right; maybe I overreacted. I care about you, and I didn't want you have to live somewhere where you felt like you were being treated like a piece of meat. I apologize if I went too far."

Danni kissed his cheek, then wrapped her arm around his. "Apologize to Nate later. For now, I'm taking you out for a change."

Danni directed Jared to an apartment complex near the grounds of Empire University, on the second level of the city. Next to the main entrance to the complex was an old-fashioned wooden door that opened onto a set of stairs leading downward. Danni held the door open for Jared, and the sounds of music and conversation drifted up from below.

She gave him a grin and a wink. "After you," she said.

The walls were made of red and brown bricks, while the floor and ceiling were dark polished wood. A large white sign greeted them at the first landing:

PRIVATE PROPERTY — CLASS B SUBSTANCES IN USE
The owner of this establishment hereby gives notice
of consent to the use of Class B controlled substances
on the premises. Any person entering herein is understood
as having given tacit consent to the use of these substances
in his/her presence, and indemnifies the proprietor and his/her
fellow patrons of any responsibility for the associated risks of
exposure.

City of Metamor Civil Code, Title XI, Ch. 13, Sec. 27(b)

Jared raised an eyebrow at Danni. "You're taking me to a smoking parlor?"

Her grin got even wider. "It's much more than that. Come on."

The stairs turned left at the landing and descended one more flight, emerging onto a small vestibule with a single spotlight overhead. Arched doorways to the front and the right revealed dimly-lit rooms filled with booths and tables. To the left lay a coat room and a wooden podium. A short blonde woman with a ponytail and a mole on her left cheek looked up at them with a serious expression.

"I'm sorry," she said, "but we're closed for a private engagement. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Even as she spoke the words, though, she was also broadcasting a telepathic message, which even Danni's faint senses could detect: Welcome to the Cellar! If you can hear this, then tell me name of the common bond that unites us.

"The Hive is the bond that unites us all," Danni said. She tapped the side of her head. "Sorry, I'm not very good at transmitting."

The blonde woman's expression immediately changed from grave to cheerful. She stepped forward and clasped Danni's hand. "Not a problem," she said. "You're one of us, and that's all that matters. I'm Lindy."

"Danni. This is Jared."

Lindy took Jared's hand as well. "I haven't seen you in here before."

"It's my first time," Jared admitted.

"And my first time in a while," Danni said.

"Well, you're always welcome," Lindy said. "Cabs and cigs are for sale at any of the bars, and we also have a limited supply of Shimmer that's fresh from the labs in Marigund."

Jared frowned. "Shimmer?"

"Mild psi enhancer," Lindy explained. "It's not as toxic as Mad John or as dangerous as Brimstone. Mostly it makes it easier to enter gestalts. Most people also experience side effects similar to Essence: euphoria, a heightened sense of empathy, and an improved sense of touch." She waggled her eyebrows. "Very popular for lovers."

"Downsides?" Danni asked.

Lindy shrugged. "Some people have trouble sleeping when they're coming down — unless you take it with alcohol, in which case you're gonna crash pretty hard, pretty fast. Not really dangerous, though, unless you're trying to drive or something. Let's see … um, don't use it if you're on anti-depressants, or if you've got high blood pressure. Also, you should stick to decaf if you decide to take it. The pills are high purity, one-fifty mills a piece, so we're limiting it to one dose per customer."

Danni nodded. "How much?"

"Twenty-five marks. Believe me, if you've got plans to get naked later it's worth every cent."

Danni and Jared looked at each other and blushed. "We'll think about it," Danni said. "Thanks for the info."

"No problem," Lindy said. "Enjoy your stay!"

Danni led Jared into the room opposite the staircase. The tables and booths were arranged in a U-shape around a low stage, where a group of musicians played eclectic-sounding melodies on instruments collected from at least three continents. Fans hung from low ceilings over walls that were half brick and half wood paneling. A coffee bar ran along one side of the room, and the sounds of the grinders and steam wands mingled with the music and the low undercurrent of conversation.

Jared put his arm around Danni and leaned in close to her ear. "This is Hive-owned, isn't it? 'The Cellar' — it's a play on words. Like the cells in a honeycomb."

Danni nodded. " 'Becca and I used to come here when we were at uni. It's a pretty mellow scene."

"Judging from the amount of cannabis I'm smelling in here, I don't doubt it."

Danni shrugged. "Private property, J. It's all legal."

He ran a hand over his chin. "And that other drug she mentioned? Shimmer? I've never even heard of it, and cops hear about everything."

"Wouldn't be the first time we kept something away from the mundies, would it?" She crossed her arms. "Look, if you're not comfortable with it, we can just go. I wouldn't want you to see anything you'd have to report later."

Jared sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry, Danni. I'm not trying to ruin the evening. I've just … never spent much time at Class B clubs. Section 27-b always felt like a loophole to me. Comes with being a cop, I guess." He shrugged. "And I've never really felt welcome in Hive territory, either."

Danni stepped in close to him and put her arms around his neck. "I know. Just give it a chance, okay? I'm not going to ask you to try Shimmer if you don't want to, but let's at least get some coffee and dessert and listen to the music for a while."

Jared smiled and kissed her. "Okay. I'm up for that."

They went over the coffee bar, where they ordered lattes and an odd sort of chocolate-and-raspberry pastry that looked big enough to share. The employees and the other customers were all as warm and friendly as Lindy had been, and Danni chatted with them about the latest gossip while they waited for their drinks. She introduced Jared to them, and everyone welcomed him without hesitation as a fellow spooky.

Danni was amused by the irony of the situation. If she had come in here as Daniel, both he and Jared would have been treated with pity, if they were noticed at all. Now that she was a woman, though, it didn't matter how weak her powers were; she was a teep and a woman, and that made her an automatic V.I.P. in Hive society. As for Jared, he was here on the arm of a beautiful woman — and if she thought he was worthy of her time, then there must be something special about him.

The longer they talked with the people around them, the more Jared relaxed. Danni could see the tension draining out of his shoulders, and that sparkle she loved coming back into his eyes. He seemed to finally understand that he was being accepted here — and it gave Danni a warm, glowing feeling inside that she was able to give him that gift of acceptance, just by his being here with her. It was a gift that Daniel never could have had for himself, and that made it all the more precious.

Eventually they found a little booth with a good view of the stage and cuddled up next to each other to listen. Jared reached into his pocket and pulled out a cab, which he offered to Danni. She looked at him in surprise.

"I thought you didn't approve," she said.

He shrugged. "It occurred to me that everyone here is part of the Collective. So in a way, you could say that this just an extended family gathering." He pulled out a lighter and lit the end of the cab. "And sharing a cab at a family reunion isn't going to hurt anyone."

Smiling, Danni nestled in close to Jared and took a hit from the cab. As the sweet, herbal scent of cannabis spiraled around them, she closed her eyes and let the music carry her away.

Chapter Fourteen

They left the Cellar a few hours later. Danni felt relaxed and peaceful, and Jared had a contented look in his eyes that was a real pleasure to see.

"I've never experienced anything like that," Jared said, as they got into his skimmer and ventured back out into Metamor City's endless stream of traffic. "All those other teeps treating me like family? It makes me finally understand why people are so committed to the Collective: even in a room full of strangers, it feels like home."

"See? The Hive does have its good points," Danni said. "I'll be the first to admit it has problems, too, but what family doesn't?"

"True enough." Jared reached over and took Danni's hand. "Thank you for showing me. I'm sorry I gave you a hard time about it earlier."

Danni squeezed his hand in return. "Apology accepted. Although," she added impishly, "I wouldn't be averse to you doing me a little favor as penance."

He smirked. "What did you have in mind?"

"Show me where you live." Off his surprised look, she added, "Well, it's only fair, right? You've been to my apartment, what, five times now? And you haven't taken me back to your place even once."

Color rose into his pale cheeks. "I never asked because I didn't want you to think I was trying to take advantage of you." Through their skin-to-skin contact, Danni heard another thought that rose up unbidden in Jared's mind: And you're so beautiful that I might have tried.

Danni blushed and smiled, and Jared's eyes widened. "Oh, hells. You heard that, didn't you?"

She lifted his hand to her lips and kissed the backs of his fingers. "Don't take it back when you're winning points, J. Come on, take me back to your place."

She didn't have to ask again.

Jared lived in an apartment-style condominium on third level of the Valley North borough. It was a quiet residential neighborhood — or, at least, as quiet as the city ever got above Street level — and traffic was light as they pulled into the parking garage that sat under the indigo glass towers of the condo complex. They parked in a numbered space and took a lift up to the fourth floor. The doors had electronic security pads instead of traditional locks, and Jared swiped a card through the reader to let them inside.

The condo was small but elegant: a marble-tiled entry area blended seamlessly into a kitchen on the left and a dining area straight ahead. Beyond the dinner table the tile floors gave way to plush carpeting in a sitting room, which had two leather sofas and a reclining chair arranged around a glass coffee table. Windows made up the entire back wall of the sitting room, giving a breathtaking view of the Citadel four kilometers to the south. Even in the middle of the night, the faceted glass observation decks of the twin minarets shone like glowing jewels above the rest of the cityscape.

"Gods, Jared, it's gorgeous," Danni breathed.

"Thanks. I'm afraid I can't take all the credit, though; we have a cleaning service that comes through once a week. Come on upstairs and I'll show you the rest."

On the left side of the sitting room a spiral staircase led up to the second floor, a loft area that looked out over the room below and shared its view of the city beyond. A large and comfortable-looking bed and two nightstands stood against the west wall of the loft, surrounded by framed photographs and a few small prints of impressionist paintings. The east wall was home to a large computer desk, covered with data cards and assorted paperwork. Two bookshelves flanked the desk on either side, their shelves filled to overflowing. The titles ran through a variety of genres, but medical reference volumes, psychiatric journals and detective novels all featured prominently, and there was an entire shelf full of what appeared to be photo albums. The back wall of the loft had two doors that led to a large walk-in closet and a master bathroom.

"I like it," Danni said. "It must be nice waking up to that view every morning."

"Most days," Jared agreed. "Although," he added with a chuckle, "it can be a little unnerving when the window-washers show up. There's a remote control that turns the glass opaque, but half the time I forget about it until there's someone hanging outside my window and I'm standing there in my boxers."

Danni laughed, and her exhibitionist side felt a little thrill at the idea of giving the window-washers a show to remember. I didn't even know I had an exhibitionist side, she thought. It's funny the things you learn about yourself when you stop being afraid of who you are.

She drifted over to the west wall and looked at the pictures with interest. Some of them were clearly vacation photos: Jared with friends on the beach; the view from a mountain summit; even one on the steps of the Grand High Temple in Elvquelin. Another showed Jared shaking hands with a police officer in a navy blue dress uniform. Most of the others seemed to be slice-of-life images, taken at parties, in bars, or in places where the location didn't matter enough to be included in the frame.

Danni noticed that one person seemed to appear in more of the pictures than anyone else, even more that Jared himself. She was an attractive Irombian woman in her early twenties, tall and willowy, with striking blue-black skin and short nappy hair that was covered by a scarf in many of the photos. Several of the photos showed Jared with his arm around her, or vice versa.

"Hey, who's this?" Danni asked, gesturing at one of the pictures.

Jared's smile faded. He sat on the edge of the bed, and his body seemed to fold in on itself. "That's Catherine," he said. "My wife."

Danni suddenly found it hard to breathe. "What … what happened?" she asked.

Jared stared at the floor. "She was killed. Three years ago." He swallowed. "Vampires."

"Oh, gods." Danni sat down on the bed and put her arm around him. "Is she—?"

He shook his head. "No. She left instructions to not let her be turned if that ever happened to her. We … we had to have her cremated before she came back, so the M.E. never found out who did it." He gritted his teeth. "It was easy to figure why, though."

"Because you're with the cops?" Danni ventured.

He nodded. She could tell he was on the edge of tears. Shit, this evening isn't turning out like I hoped, she thought. She looked around for inspiration, and her eyes fell on the shelf full of photo albums.

"Are those pictures from when you guys were together?" she asked, pointing at the shelf.

He looked up, sniffed, and nodded again. "Most of them, yeah," he said.

Danni got up and pulled out two of the photo albums, then carried them back to the bed. She opened up one of them and set it in his lap.

"Tell me about her," she said. "Not how she died. Tell me about you two together. Tell me how she lived."

Jared hesitated. "I'm not sure I can. I … I just stopped wearing the ring this past New Year's."

Danni took his hand. "Could you try?" she asked gently. "This is a huge part of your life we're talking about. If we're serious about being together, I want to get to know that side of you."

He sniffed again, then squeezed her hand tightly. "Okay. For you, I'll try."

Jared looked down at the first page of photos and began to talk. Haltingly at first, but with a gradually increasing confidence, he told Danni about Catherine: about her passion for music, and her career as a concert violinist; about the strange chain of coincidences and happy accidents that had brought them together; about their two years of awkward, on-and-off courtship, with all of its deliriously happy moments and awkward cultural missteps; and about their marriage, three blessed and mostly-contented years of just living life in each other's company. As he grew more comfortable talking about her, Jared was even able to share some of the funny moments from their life together, like the trip to Pyralis when Catherine had conspired with the local merfolk to "steal" Jared's surfboard so he would spend more time sight-seeing with her.

"What she didn't count on was how much I truly loved that board," Jared said, grinning. "So I told her, okay, how about a boat tour around the bay? And she said, sure, sounds like fun. So—" he paused, interrupted by his own laughter "—so, I go to the guide, and I pay him to take us over the local merfolk village—"

"Oh, no!" Danni laughed, shaking her head.

"—and as soon as the mers come up to see what's going on, I jump in and grab one of them and tell him to take me to their priestess, 'cause I'm not leaving until I get my damned surfboard back!"

Danni groaned and smacked her hand against her forehead. "Oh, Prophet bless it! What did they do?"

Jared giggled, his whole body shaking with mirth. "Well, the first one didn't know what this crazy human was ranting about. And of course, he'd just come up out of the water, so he didn't have any air in his gill books to talk with. So he's just floating there, his mouth gaping, and he keeps sucking down air like this…" He mimicked a gasping fish, which made Danni laugh even harder. "… and meanwhile he's squirting water out of his gill slits, and it's shooting all over me. And when he finally sucks down enough air to speak, he doesn't know any Common, so he starts talking to the tour guide — and then the tour guide starts cracking up. Turns out that the mer thought I was offering to become his oath brother!"

"Oh, gods. What did Catherine say?"

"Well, when she picked herself up off the deck and could finally breathe again, she said, 'Jared, I know he's gorgeous, but I'm telling you now that it's him or me!' "

They both doubled over laughing at that, and it was well over a minute before either of them recovered the power of speech. "Of course," Jared added, "after that she explained everything. I was pretty upset, until she told me that it wasn't really gone and the mers were going to bring it back before we left. Then she apologized for having my board stolen, and I apologized for not paying enough attention to what she needed, and we finally ended up going back to the hotel room for make-up sex. So I guess it all worked out in the end."

Danni snickered and wiped her eyes. "Oh, hells. Remind me to just ask when I want you to do something, instead of trying to manipulate you into doing it."

"Heh. It's a deal." His eyes drifted over to the bedside clock; it was well after 1:00 AM. "And on that note, I guess I'd better take you home, seeing as we both need to be up for work tomorrow." He gathered up the photo albums and carried them back over to the shelf.

Danni came up behind him and put a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Jared?"

He turned around, his dark eyes curious. She came deliberately close to him — not pressing her body against his, but close enough to feel his breath as she looked him in the eyes. Inviting, she reminded herself, not demanding. Soft and flowing, always. She placed a hand against his cheek and brushed her thumb softly against it. With her other hand she unfastened the first two buttons of her blouse, revealing the birth control amulet that rested between the upper curves of her breasts.

"Take me home tomorrow," she said.

Jared's expression turned worried. "Danni?" he said. "Are you sure?"

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Too damned noble, she thought. "Jared, look at me," she said, keeping her tone gentle and even. "I haven't been drinking. I haven't had a cab in hours. My mind is clear." She gestured at her amulet. "I even brought protection. This is what I want … if it's what you want."

Danni wrapped her arms around his neck. As she ran her fingers over bare skin, she heard his thoughts floating at the surface, uncertain. Catherine…

…would want you to do this, Danni sent back to him. We've honored her tonight with our words. Isn't it time to honor her memory by finding the happiness that she would want you to have, here and now? A part of her will always be with you — and a part of Rebecca will always be with me. But we have to have enough courage to go on. To make new lives out of the old.

Jared smiled, a bittersweet expression. He wrapped his arms around her waist. "Sometimes you're a lot wiser than your years, Danni," he said.

She ran her tongue over her lips to moisten them. Her heart felt like it was hanging somewhere high above her, suspended by a thread. "First time for everything," she said. "So. What do you want, Jared?"

He leaned forward, his lips nearly touching hers, and raised one hand to cradle the back of her head. "You," he whispered, and kissed her.

Warning: The following scene features strong sexual content. Viewer discretion is advised.

Danni felt the passion inside her flame into life immediately, as intense and all-consuming as that ill-fated kiss in the restaurant. This time, though, no one tried to stop her, and with joy she opened herself up to it completely. Her spell-sculpted body reshaped itself in response to her desires, and suddenly her clothes were too tight to contain the voluptuous curves of her hourglass figure.

"Oh, gods," she panted, fumbling with the clasp on her bra. "Oh gods, hurry…"

Jared wasted no time helping her out of her clothes, and as she stepped out of her fallen jeans he paused and stared at her, his eyes drinking her in from head to toe. She felt another wave of pleasure, and her nipples rose to attention, while the warmth and wetness of her arousal filled the cleft between her legs.

Then she was on him like a tigress, pinning him up against the bookshelf, arms and legs wrapping tightly around him as if she were trying to envelop his entire body. He met her kisses with his own, strong and unhesitating, then cupped her ass in both hands and lifted her up until he could reach her breasts. He spun her around and sat her down on the edge of the computer desk. His mouth found her breasts again, and he sucked and licked and teased her nipples, first one and then the other. At the same time the fingers of one hand reached down to explore between her thighs, moistening themselves with her own juices and running lightly over the folds of her lips. It was sweet, blissful agony, a taunting, seductive dance that drove her already-fierce ardor into a firestorm of desperate need.

"Please," she begged. "Please, please, please…" But whether she was begging him to stop or to keep doing it forever, even she did not know.

As it happened, he did neither. Instead he knelt before her and tasted her, his mouth joining his fingers in the dance. He found her clit and ran his tongue over and around it — a quick and delicate touch, there and gone in only a moment, but the sensation was so powerful that Danni cried out and nearly fell over. File folders flew onto the floor, their contents scattered, as she reached out to the sides of the desk to steady herself. He laughed, a low and hearty chuckle, and even the feeling of his breath against her skin sent more tingles and spasms of need coursing through her body. Then his tongue darted out again, lapping to either side of her swollen nub. The sensation was still intense, but more bearable, and she sent a wordless telepathic signal to him that this was the right spot. He sent back an equally wordless reply, and his tongue began to move in a steady, patient rhythm.

Danni had never felt anything like it before. Daniel had felt echoes of Rebecca's pleasure when he would go down on her, but even a telepathic bond was no substitute for direct experience. She writhed and moaned under Jared's touch as he gradually stoked her higher and higher, until any semblance of coherent thought was driven out by waves of pleasure. Her hips started to move of their own accord, grinding against Jared's face; he kept his rhythm steady but increased the pressure of his tongue against her tender flesh. Danni's thighs clamped tight around Jared's head and held on for dear life as her first female orgasm crashed through her body. She screamed in ecstasy and fell back across the desk, spilling more papers as she writhed and shuddered under the aftershocks of her climax. Jared moved his mouth a little further away from her clit but kept lapping at her gently, playing along the cleft between her outer and inner lips, until her body relaxed once more.

She felt him working his way back to her nub, intent on driving her up the summit again, but she sat up and grabbed his head in both hands. No, she told him silently, as she guided his mouth back to her own. I want all of you.

She tasted herself on his mouth and found it sweet, not to mention intensely erotic. They stood up, and Danni's hands worked diligently to undress him while her tongue danced with his. She unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off, then unfastened the fly of his jeans. She reached inside his boxers and grasped him. He moaned into her mouth, and she felt him twitch against her hand, growing firmer by the second. She dropped to her knees and pulled off his pants and underwear in one smooth motion. Cradling him in both hands, she looked up into his eyes and smiled. The surge of desire that ran through their telepathic bond needed no translation.

She teased him as he had teased her, using hands, lips and tongue to coax him to rigid attention. Though she had never done this before, she instinctively knew how: the pseudo-Curse that had changed her body carried with it a deep understanding of exactly what to do. The Curse had been designed, after all, to create men and women who were unparalleled masters at giving pleasure. Danni gleefully took all it had to offer her, and used it without fear or hesitation.

She reveled in the taste of him, the feel of him inside her mouth. Part of her wanted to carry him to his own climax like this, to milk him until she had swallowed every drop — but a larger part of her wanted, needed, something else. When he was ready, she stood up and put her hands on his chest, pushing him until he fell backward onto the bed. She climbed on after him, straddling his chest, and lowered her head to kiss him deeply. Then she slid slowly back and rubbed her soaking lips up and down the length of his shaft, lubricating him with her own slick juices. At last, with a helpful hand from Jared, she arched her back, rotated her hips, and let him slip inside her.

With magically-bestowed talent and the intimate knowledge of their telepathic bond, Danni controlled the pace of their lovemaking, bringing Jared to the brink again and again only to back away from it, prolonging the experience. She rode him through one climax of her own and up toward the verge of another. Here at last she abandoned all self-control, bucking wildly as his hips rose up to meet hers, and they crashed over the final summit together.

We now return to your regularly-scheduled PG-13 content.

She collapsed atop him, kissing him with passion but no longer with desperate urgency. Both of them were sated, and the psychic bond between them only grew in intimacy after their physical urges had been fulfilled. Jared held her close, and she rested her head against his chest and listened to his heartbeat as it slowly returned to normal.

He planted soft kisses on her neck. “Danni," he whispered. "Oh, gods, Danni, I love you. Never leave me… never leave me…”

And Danni knew, in that moment, that she would never want to.

Chapter Fifteen

Thursday, June 20.

Rebecca woke up screaming.

"No! Daniel!"

She tried to sit up, and quickly found that her pregnant belly made that harder than usual. She made it halfway and turned to prop herself up sideways on the bed, but her whole body was shaking and she didn't get any further than that. She whipped her head around wildly, feeling like a trapped animal, pinned to the mattress by her own bloated body. Images of her surroundings spun dizzily around her. Small room … no windows … desk, chair, lamp… They blended with images of other things — other places, possibly other times — but she couldn't make any sense of it. Inside her womb, her daughter Lila thrashed and protested, her half-formed mind shouting wordless thoughts at Rebecca and begging her to stop. The alien thoughts of the child inside her head didn't help matters.

A pair of slender arms wrapped around her from behind, holding her close. "It's okay," a gentle voice told her from somewhere just behind her ear. "It's all right, baby. You're safe now."

A wave of comfort ran through her jumbled mind, inviting her frantic thoughts to calm themselves. She closed her eyes and held on to that telepathic suggestion, embracing it, letting it steady her. She let out a soft groan, and a lot of the tension went out of her along with it. Lila stopped kicking and turning, and her simple thoughts quickly returned to a state of quiet contentment.

"It's okay," Sasha said again, running her hand protectively over Rebecca's belly. "I'm here, 'Becca. You're gonna be all right."

Sasha nestled into the "spoons" position behind Rebecca, and her bare skin felt warm and comforting. Rebecca just lay there for a long while, saying nothing, while her thoughts tried to drag themselves back into some sense of order.

When her thoughts were mostly clear again, Sasha stroked her hair and planted a kiss on the nape of her neck. "Bad dream, or a bad vision?" she asked.

Rebecca opened her eyes and stared at the wall of the secondary bedroom, furrowing her brow in concentration. She tried to remember what she had seen, but the images refused to come back to her.

"I don't know," she said. Frustrated, she moved Sasha's arm away from her belly and swung her legs over the side of the bed, forcing herself to sit up.

"You said Daniel's name a minute ago," Sasha said quietly.

Rebecca nodded listlessly. "I don't know what that meant, either," she said, feeling sullen. "So don't bother asking."

She felt a stab of surprise and hurt from Sasha, and she hung her head, embarrassed. "I'm sorry," she said. "That was mean."

Sasha came and sat beside her, putting an arm around her in a sideways hug. With her free hand she traced her fingers down the side of Rebecca's face, gently turning her face toward Sasha's. Their lips met in a tender kiss, which spoke forgiveness to her more eloquently than words ever could.

Rebecca opened her eyes to see Sasha looking straight into them. "You've been distant," she said, her own blue eyes full of concern. "Last night, when we were making love, you held your mind back from me." She touched Rebecca's cheek again. "And not just then. You've been growing apart from us."

Rebecca lowered her eyes. "It's the baby. My hormones are all messed up…"

"It's not just the baby," Sasha said. "Something's been eating at you, and you're keeping it from the rest of us." She reached down and took Rebecca's hand. "It will help if you talk about it."

"No," Rebecca said, shaking her head. "You guys have enough to worry about. This has got nothing to do with you."

"That's not true," Sasha said. "If it affects one of us, it affects all of us. That's how families work." She craned her head forward and tried to catch Rebecca's eye. "Let me help, sweetie. Please?"

Rebecca sniffed and wiped at her eyes. She took a deep breath, then let it out again. "Something's wrong with Daniel."

"You did see something, then?"

"No, and that's the problem." She looked up at the wall again. Sasha had hung a yew-tree crucifix up there — to help ward off vampires and spirits, she said, but Rebecca thought it was more to her than just a good luck charm. Rebecca was a Meraist, herself, so she never really got the Ecclesiast thing about having the Tree in every room. Even if she had, she didn't think it would be giving her much encouragement right now.

"Daniel hasn't been returning my calls," she said. "Not since the funeral. Sometimes Kevin or Nate'll pick up the phone, but they always say D isn't there. When I try to esp him, I can't find him anywhere. I get pictures of him from the past, but nothing of him now." She shook her head. "That's never happened before, Sash. I'm scared."

Sasha squeezed her hand. "Okay. If ESP isn't working, let's try something else."

Rebecca looked at her. "Like what?"

"Like Elder Bakhtavar," Sasha said. "She's supposed to come over today to talk with us about the mission. Let's ask her to put it out on the mind-links and find out what he's doing. Somebody in the Hive must have seen him in the last three weeks, right?"

Rebecca nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess so." She smiled through her tears, and pulled Sasha into a tight hug. "Thanks, Sasha. It's hard for me to talk about Daniel with the others. Fiona starts getting suspicious that I'm going to cheat on you guys, and Brian just feels guilty, like he thinks he stole me from Daniel or something."

"I know," Sasha said. "Look, Becks, it's okay that you still love Daniel. Even if he can't be with you, that's no reason for you to turn your feelings off. The time you had with him is something you can share with us in the gestalt, and it enriches all of us." She gave Rebecca a faint smile. "Besides, I always knew you had more than enough love in you to go around."

Rebecca returned the smile, then leaned in to kiss her again. "Think we have time for a shower before Mistress Bakhtavar gets here? I'm still no good at washing my feet with this big, fat belly out in front of me."

Sasha ran her tongue over her lips and put a hand on Rebecca's inner thigh. "Oh, I think we'll have time to pamper all sorts of hard-to-reach places…"

One prolonged and highly interesting shower later, Sasha emerged from the bathroom with Rebecca. She'd overestimated how much time they would have; as they entered the kitchen, she saw Brian, Fiona and Miriam Bakhtavar all gathered around the table, well into the midst of their final mission plans.

Breakfast was already waiting for them, and Sasha munched on eggs and whole-grain toast while she listened to the telepathic conversation between her husband, her wife, and the Elder. Miriam had succeeded in pulling together all of the resources they needed, and tomorrow the operation would go down, one way or another.

Miriam raised her mug to her lips, and Sasha felt a twinge of mild disappointment from her as she realized it was empty. Fiona spoke before the older woman had even set down the cup.

"Would you like me to brew another cup of tea for you, Elder?" she asked. Her tone was excessively courteous, almost fawning.

Sasha hid a grin behind her own cup of coffee. Fiona never spoke of her hero worship for Miriam Bakhtavar, and she had only rarely allowed Sasha deep enough into her mind to catch a glimpse of it. It made sense: Fiona had always wanted to be the best, and Miriam epitomized what an egoist was capable of. Hells, she'd kept her body in the prime of life for more than a century, using only the power of her mind; Fiona hadn't even figured out how to erase one of her freckles. Privately, Sasha suspected that Fiona also lusted for the beautiful Elder — but if so, she wouldn't show those thoughts to anyone.

"That's quite all right, Fiona," Miriam said. "You stay here and help Brian plot the escape route. I'm still quite capable of preparing a cup of tea for myself."

Sasha thought she caught a whiff of disappointment from Fiona, but the redhead composed herself almost instantly and went back to helping Brian. As Miriam came over to the sink and began refilling the tea kettle, Sasha heard the Elder's voice in her mind.

Am I correct in presuming that you two would like a word with me? she asked.

Sasha kept her facial expression neutral and took another drink. Yes, Elder. One of our friends has gone missing. We were hoping that you might be able to ask the Hive whether anyone knows where he is.

Perhaps, Miriam said. Tell me what you know.

Rebecca quickly recounted the last time she had seen Daniel, as well as the troubles she had been having when she tried to use her ESP to find him.

It may be nothing to worry about, the Elder assured them. Often the dramatic events in our lives can change our understanding of our own identity. If our perception of ourselves changes, that also changes the face we show to the world, and sometimes that makes it difficult for espers to find us. The deaths of your friends may have had such an effect on Daniel. If he is still grieving, that may also explain his desire for solitude.

Maybe, Rebecca said. But that doesn't sound like Daniel to me. After Del and Trace died, he was doing a lot better than I was. Could you check, just to be safe?

He works at Barnhardt General, Sasha added. That's a Hive-owned hospital, so somebody must have seen him there.

Miriam nodded slowly, then carried the kettle over to the stove to start it boiling. Very well, she said. If it will help to put your minds at ease, I shall ask.

The Elder bowed her head, and Sasha felt an odd tingling in the air as the older woman extended her power. Though she was best known for her powers of psychometabolism, Miriam was also a telepath of respectable power and exceptional skill. As an Elder she was more closely attuned to the network of subtle telepathic connections that bound the Hive together, and Sasha felt her reach out and project her thoughts into that network, asking for the information that they needed. An answer must have come back almost immediately, because less than a minute later a small smile formed on Miriam's face.

I've made contact with some of his co-workers, she said. They said they would send back images in just a moment.

Rebecca let out an audible sigh of relief.

Ah, yes, here we are, Miriam said. Let us see, then, what our friend Daniel is up to. She opened up the mind-link to Sasha and Rebecca. The images began to flow up through the network, reaching all three of them at the same time.

Miriam's smile vanished. Rebecca let out a choked cry. Sasha nearly fell out of her chair.

"Blood of Eli," she whispered. "What have you done, Daniel? My god, what have you done?"

"All right, that's got it. Just hold still a little longer…"

Danni gritted her teeth and tried not to squirm as the forceps grabbed hold of something and then pulled it free from her body. A moment later the doctor's bare hand touched the back of her neck, and a cool wave of psychic healing energy closed the incision.

The doctor set the forceps in a little tray next to the examining table. Danni looked down with mild curiosity at subdermal implant that had, until now, shielded her body from the effects of the Curse.

"There you are," the doctor said. "Not too bad, was it?"

"Not too," Danni agreed. She ran her hand over the back of her neck, feeling only smooth, unblemished skin. It wasn't even tender; the doc was obviously skilled with his powers. "What happens now?"

"Well, your paperwork is finalized with the Majestrix, right?"

Danni nodded. "I got the message from the Citadel last night."

"Good. That means that your custom-tuned variant of the Curse is already woven over your body. Think of it like a coating that's been sitting on top of you, with the suppression amulet forming a barrier between them. Now that the amulet is gone, the magic of the Curse will start integrating itself with your body immediately. The process should be complete in twenty-four to forty-eight hours."

Danni couldn't keep from smiling at that. "That's great! I…" She paused as a thought struck her. "Oh, wait. Will I have to get the pseudo-Curse removed first?"

The doctor shrugged. "You should check with the wizard who made the spell, but I don't think it will be a problem. The Curse is stronger than any human magic, so my guess is that it will simply displace the existing spell-weave as it takes hold. You might experience some minor disruptions in your body's form, but they shouldn't last very long."

"All right." Danni got to her feet and bowed to him. "Thank you, doctor."

He returned the bow, then offered his hand to Danni. She clasped it, and he sent her a wave of acceptance and affirmation through the telepathic link. "I'm always happy to see new women join the Hive," he said, "but I think you're the first one I've heard of who was a male in the Hive first. I hope it works out for you — this could be the start of a great thing for the Collective if you succeed."

She gripped his hand firmly and nodded. "Well, it's not going to fail on my end," she said. "Thanks again, Doc. I'll see you at the next Hive meeting."

She left the doctor's office and went down to the lab to start her workday. A couple of hours later she called Artax, who confirmed the doctor's guess: the pseudo-Curse would be gradually replaced by the real one as it took hold, so she wouldn't have to change back to Daniel in the interim. She felt relieved at that; Jared had bought her an extension to the pseudo-Curse spell so that he wouldn't have to spend even a day apart from her, and it would have been a serious letdown if she'd had to change back now.

Danni looked at the clock and smiled. She couldn't feel the Curse taking hold inside her, but she knew it was working. In twenty-four hours, Danni Sharabi would be here to stay.

Mistress Bakhtavar broke the connection to the teep network, and Rebecca fell back against the kitchen counter, her mind reeling. If she hadn’t known any better, she would have suspected someone was playing a cruel game with her. How could all this have happened without her knowing about it? Daniel had often expressed his frustration with the Hive, but he had never mentioned the idea of actually becoming a woman in order to gain more acceptance. How could he do something this drastic without at least talking to her about it? Didn’t she deserve that much, after everything they had shared?

Brian and Fiona looked up from the table with questioning expressions. Sasha welcomed them into the mind-link and showed them the memories they had just experienced. Brian looked almost as stunned as Rebecca felt, but Fiona just nodded thoughtfully to herself.

“Very clever,” she murmured. “Unexpected, but clever.”

Rebecca stared at her. “What are you saying, Fi?” she asked. Sasha and Brian looked like they were wondering the same thing.

Fiona looked up at her and matched her gaze without flinching. “This is a good strategy for Daniel to take,” she said. “She is using the Hive’s pragmatism to her own advantage. Nothing she would have accomplished as a man could make her more valuable than what she has just done. Assuming, of course, that she is able to go through with the challenges of pregnancy and motherhood.”

Rebecca smacked her hands down on the counter. “You’re a fine one to talk about motherhood, Fiona! It was your turn to get pregnant a month ago, and you still won’t take off that damned birth control necklace! Why should Daniel have to do this when there are real women in the Hive who aren’t pulling their weight?!”

Sasha gasped, but Rebecca ignored her. Fiona was on her feet, across the room and leaning into Rebecca’s face in less time than it took to blink.

“Look at me, Rebecca!” she snapped. “Did you see that? No, you didn’t. Do you think I could do that if I were like this?” She put a finger on Rebecca’s stomach. “Do you think I could stop an intruder, or help defend the Hive against vampires? Do you?”

Rebecca flinched. Sasha reached out toward Fiona, but the redhead held up a hand toward her without looking at her.

Fiona straightened and lifted her chin. “I earn my keep by protecting you and our daughter from harm,” she said. “I cannot do that if I let myself become helpless. Daniel has no such excuse. There is nothing he could do for the Hive as a man that he cannot do equally well as a woman.”

Rebecca looked at her sullenly. “Daniel is a good fighter, too, you know.”

Fiona snorted. “Daniel did well in combat class. That is hardly the same thing as being a warrior.” She strode back to the table and sat down. “I do not understand why this is bothering you, Rebecca. Daniel has rescued herself from irrelevance and self-pity. She is endeavoring to move on with her life. I would have thought you would be pleased.” She raised an eyebrow. “Unless his suffering fulfilled some emotional need inside of you. Is that what this is about, Rebecca? If he cannot be with you, he should spend the rest of his life pining for your company?”

Rebecca felt tears welling up in her eyes and opened her mouth to protest, but then Brian’s voice echoed through the room like the crack of a whip.

“Fiona!”

Brian was on his feet now, glaring down at Fiona with his hands flat on the table. Fiona stared back at him, her green eyes burning with defiance. Rebecca and Sasha held their breath as the two stared each other down.

If any thoughts passed between them in that silence, Rebecca couldn’t hear them. It was Fiona who finally broke; she didn’t look away from Brian, but she took a long breath and let it out, deliberately letting her body relax. Her face slid back into its usual impassive expression. “Yes, Captain?” she said.

Brian’s frown deepened at that, but he straightened up and gave a slight nod toward the door. “Take a walk, Lieutenant,” he said quietly.

Fiona looked him a moment longer in silence. Then she got up, stood at attention, and saluted him. “Yes, sir,” she said. Her voice betrayed nothing of her thoughts.

Brian returned the salute, and Fiona held hers until he lowered his arm. She left the apartment without another word.

Brian stared at the door after she left, his hands at his sides. Sasha leaned forward onto the counter and let out a ragged breath, then buried her face in her hands. Rebecca grabbed a tissue from the nearest box and used it to dab at her eyes and blow her nose.

“That was well-handled, Captain Sommers.” The voice came from behind Rebecca, in the corner of the kitchen, and all of them jumped at the sound. Rebecca turned to see Mistress Bakhtavar leaning against the stove with her arms crossed. Had she been there the entire time? Rebecca supposed that she must have been … but as soon as the argument had started, it was like she had disappeared into the background. Must be an Elder thing, she thought.

Brian lowered his head and blushed. “I’m sorry you had to see that, Elder,” he said. “I …” Rebecca sensed that he was about to defend Fiona, but then a cloud of fresh anger passed over his face and he fell silent, his lips settling into a thin, hard line.
The Elder shrugged fractionally. “Every family has arguments,” she said. “I wonder, though, if perhaps I might have a word with her in private.”

Brian’s eyes widened, and Rebecca was sure he was thinking the same thing she was. Since when did an Elder need to ask permission to do anything?

“Of course,” he said, bowing to her. “If there’s anything you can say to her that will help…”

“We shall see.” The older telepath started toward the door.

“Mistress?” Rebecca asked.

Mistress Bakhtavar looked back over her shoulder at Rebecca. “Yes, child?” she asked.

Rebecca swallowed nervously. “What do you think we should do about Daniel?”

The Elder turned and came over to her. She reached out and took Rebecca’s hand.

“From a strictly practical point of view, Fiona is correct,” she said. “Daniel is likely to find much more acceptance in the Hive this way. A fertile womb is the greatest gift she could offer for the survival of our people.”

Rebecca shook her head. “But Daniel wouldn’t do it,” she insisted. “Not like this, not so damned fast. Mistress, please – I know him better than anyone. There’s something wrong here, I just know it.”

Mistress Bakhtavar looked into her eyes for a long moment, then gave a slow nod. “Then you must do what you feel is right,” she said. “Only remember that sometimes people do change – either because they choose to, or because they feel they must if they are to survive.”

Rebecca lowered her eyes. “Yes, Mistress.”

The Elder left without another word. Rebecca looked up at Sasha and Brian, feeling lost.

“It’s your call, Becks,” Brian said gently. “What do you want to do about this?”

Rebecca bit her lip and thought. “I have to go talk to Daniel,” she said. “I need … her … to explain why she did this. I get what Mistress Bakhtavar’s saying, but I won’t believe it unless I can look in D’s eyes and hear it from her straight.”

Brian nodded. “We still need to get ready for tomorrow’s op, but we can handle that without you. Sasha will go with you.”

Rebecca shook her head. “It should be just me. D’ll say things to me that he won’t tell anyone else.”

“We’re not letting you go out there by yourself,” Sasha said. “If something is wrong with Daniel, it could be dangerous for you to be alone with hi—her.” She reached under the sink and pulled out the snubnose revolver that they kept hidden there in a secret compartment. “I’m no Fiona, but I’m still combat-rated, and I can call for help if we need it.”

“Both of you be careful,” Brian said, taking them in his arms. “I couldn’t stand it if anything happened to you.”

Rebecca held him close for a moment, then went to hunt for her shoes. “Now you know how I feel about Daniel,” she whispered.

Fiona ran up thirty flights of stairs and came out on to one of the tower's common areas, a broad terrace looking out from the south side of the building. Long boxes full of small trees and garden plants gave the place a little touch of serenity in contrast to the busy city around it. She sat down on one of the concrete benches and leaned back against the wall of the building, breathing in the scent of flowers and listening to the gentle buzz of the insects. She couldn't hear anyone else coming, nor were they likely to at this time on at a weekday morning. She was alone for now.

She closed her eyes and let her walls of self-control come down by just a few degrees. Quiet tears welled up and ran down her face, and she had to control her breathing carefully to keep from sobbing.

She had hurt Rebecca deeply; there was no getting around that. She hadn't intended to. She had hoped that showing Rebecca the flaws in her logic would help her to accept Daniel's decision and move on, but the words that had come out of her mouth were so harsh and bitter that Fiona herself could hardly believe that she had said them. Sometimes she really didn't understand herself at all.

Why do I do this? she wondered. Why do I hurt the people I love the most?

A thought floated up to her in response. Usually, because they are the only ones close enough for us to hurt.

Fiona froze. Elder? she asked.

The door opened and Miriam Bakhtavar glided onto the terrace. Fiona hadn't sensed her coming, by sound or by smell, which she found both deeply impressive and deeply unnerving.

"I was hoping that I might have a word with you," she said.

Fiona lowered her eyes. "Of course, Elder. If there is anything you require, I will of course be honored to assist you."

Miriam smiled kindly and sat down on a bench facing Fiona's. "Actually," she said, "I thought that perhaps I could help you."

Instantly, Fiona felt another protective layer go up around her emotions. "How so?" she asked.

The Elder folded her hands in her lap. "You have a rare gift among telepaths, Fiona. You are able to separate the facts of any situation from your feelings, to consider matters impartially. It is this gift that makes you such a gifted manager for the Hive's investments: you are able to distinguish between your own enthusiasm for a given company and its actual financial merits. Our portfolio's annual return has tripled since you took over its administration."

Fiona felt an urge to smile at the praise, and an equal urge to frown in suspicion at whatever Miriam was driving at. She suppressed both reactions and simply nodded once. "Thank you, Elder. I am glad that you find my performance satisfactory…"

Miriam held up one finger, and Fiona immediately fell silent.

"Unfortunately," Miriam said, "this gift seems to come with a price. While you are skilled at examining the facts apart from your emotions, you seem to have difficulty analyzing your emotions themselves."

Fiona smiled humorlessly. "'The heart is deceitful above all things, and beyond cure,'" she said. "'Who can understand it?'"

"The prophet Yirmeyahu was very wise," Miriam said. "But I fear that quoting scripture will bring little comfort to your cell-mates when your anger causes you to lash out at them."

Fiona looked away and tried not to grimace. "I regret that I hurt Rebecca," she said. "But it was she who provoked that argument, not I. It is … difficult not to take offense when she devalues the role I play in the cell."

Miriam leaned forward in her seat. "And why is that role, in particular, so important to you?" she asked. "You have many gifts to offer, Fiona. It is obvious that you love deeply, and with intense loyalty. Why are you afraid of extending that love to children of your own?"

"I am not afraid," Fiona insisted. "It is a matter of practicality. This is a time of danger for the Collective; it would be irrational for me to deny the cell the use of my egoist abilities when they might be needed at any moment."

"Except that the Collective is always in danger," Miriam said. "And if you should die before you have had the opportunity to pass on your abilities to the next generation, then they will be lost to us forever."

Fiona considered that a moment, then nodded. "You are right," she said. "Very well, then: I will authorize the Hive to harvest some of my eggs for surrogate transplant, so that my abilities will not be lost."

Miriam sighed and rubbed her temples. "You would rather that your children were raised by another woman, in another cell?"

"We all belong to the Hive," Fiona said. "Better for them to be born in another cell than never to be born at all."

"Then you admit that you have no intention of ever becoming a mother?"

Fiona clenched her jaw. "I admit that I have no intention of becoming helpless as long as my family needs me to defend them."

Miriam looked at her for a long moment, then nodded slowly. "And why are you so afraid of being helpless?"

"Forgive me, Elder, but I already told you that," Fiona said, unable to keep the edge out of her voice. "My family needs—"

"No," Miriam said, cutting her off.

Fiona looked at her in surprise.

"This is not about the other members of your breeding cell," she said, her own anger showing now. "They have other defenses beyond you, not least of them being Brian's electrokinesis. The cell could survive your pregnancy without being in exceptional danger.

"This goes deeper, Fiona. Much deeper. I see walls inside you so thick and high that a Balefire spell would barely leave a mark on them. Defenses like that do not take root without a very good reason." She leaned in closer to Fiona, and as she met her gaze her expression softened. "There is a deep pain inside of you, Fiona. One that you have hidden from your friends, your lovers … perhaps even from yourself. I cannot see what it is, but it lies at the heart of your fear of being helpless. It is the one emotional influence that you cannot dissociate from your logic, because it is the only one that you refuse to acknowledge."

Fiona stared at her blankly. "I…" She stopped, cleared her throat, and tried again. "I am sorry, Elder … but if there is something like you describe inside of me, I do not know what it is."

Miriam rose to her feet and nodded once. Fiona quickly rose and bowed to her, wanting to show her respect.

"In that case," Miriam said, "I would suggest that you consider doing some exploration behind those walls. I am sure Sasha would be willing to help you." She headed for the door, then paused and looked back. "Because if you do not, it is likely that you will continue to hurt the people you love, and you will never understand why."

Rebecca knocked on the door of Daniel's apartment and tried to settle the butterflies in her stomach. Beside her, Sasha sent her a wave of telepathic encouragement.

The door opened a moment later, and Nathan Levy nodded politely to them in greeting.

"Ms Brower," he said. "Ms King. How can I help you?"

Rebecca and Sasha exchanged a look. "Um, hi, Nate," Rebecca said. "Is D here? I need to talk to … her."

Nathan looked apologetic. "I'm very sorry, but Danni isn't here right now. Have you tried reaching her at the lab?"

"She hasn't been answering my calls," Rebecca said.

"Ah." Nathan lowered his head for a moment, then raised it again. "Well, Ms Brower, you're certainly welcome to leave a message for her. I'll be happy to give it to her the next time I see her."

Rebecca frowned. "When do you think that'll be? It's really important, Nathan."

Nathan shrugged. "I couldn't say. Danni's schedule has been pretty variable lately. I haven't seen her much for the last few days, but if you—"

"Hold it."

Nathan paused, as Sasha's petite 160-centimeter frame abruptly slid into the gap between the door and the doorjamb. She glared up into his face with her hands on her hips.

"Um, Ms King?"

"You're hiding something," Sasha said. "What is it?"

Nathan averted his eyes from hers. "Ms King, if you could just step back outside—"

"Can the butler act and look at me!" she snapped, giving him a shove with one hand.

He looked at her, probably more out of reflex than anything else, and Rebecca felt a wave of psychic energy as Sasha's telepathy pushed past Nathan's flimsy defenses. She locked eyes with him for a long, wordless moment. Then she released him, and he stumbled back, gasping.

"What was that for?" he asked. He looked and sounded like a kicked puppy.

"I had to be sure it was really you I was talking to," Sasha said. "You're not under any telepathic compulsion, as far as I can tell, so I can only assume that you're choosing to act like a prick. So you'd better start talking, and do it fast, because I am a pixy's whisker away from ripping it out of your head myself. Now what's going on with Danni?"

Nathan slumped down in a nearby chair, looking dejected. "She's moving out," he said. "Been spending every night at her boy-toy Jared's place. Only time she comes back here is to pick up a load of her stuff."

Rebecca came over and sat down next to him. "Who is this Jared guy, Nate?"

Nate shrugged listlessly. "Jared Tamlin, Ph.D. Thirty-three years old, got his doctorate in Psychology from Empire U. in 1990. Immediately accepted into the Metamor City Police Department, Central Investigation and Resource Division." Rebecca stared at him, and he shrugged again, a little self-consciously. "I ran a background check on him when Danni started dating him. Can't be too careful, you know."

"So he's a cop?" Sasha asked.

"Sort of, yeah," Nathan said. "I mean, he doesn't wear a badge, but he works for 'em."

Rebecca frowned. "Has he ever done anything shady? Any dirty cop secrets that they might have covered up?"

Nathan scoffed. "The guy's so clean he could be a Lightbringer. I cracked into the Internal Affairs database and ran a search. He doesn't have so much as a parking ticket."

"Do you know where he lives?" Rebecca asked.

Nathan hesitated.

"Come on, please, Nate!" she begged, taking his hand and gripping it tightly. "Danni's in danger – maybe not from Jared, but something is wrong and she needs my help! I just need to find her and talk to her.” She looked straight into his eyes, desperately hoping that he could see in her expression how much she still cared about Daniel. “Please.”

Nathan closed his eyes, sighed, and nodded. “All right. I’ve got his address on file. I’ll print up some directions for you.”

Rebecca almost cried in relief. “Thank you.”

They followed Nathan into his bedroom, where he immediately set to work calling up the file. Rebecca looked around in surprise at the bare walls and ceiling.

“Hey, what happened to all your girlie pics?” she asked.

Nathan shrugged. “Well, you know,” he said. “I just realized it was disrespectful. I’m twenty-three years old now. It was time to grow up.”

Sasha cast an eye toward the clock as they climbed into the skimmer. "Where to now?" she asked. "Danni should still be at the lab. Do you want to try and catch her there?"

Rebecca considered it, then shook her head. "No. Whatever's happening to her isn't happening at work. Let's go check out where this guy lives. I want to see if I can channel anything about the place while nobody's home."

Jared Tamlin's condo lay several kilometers north of them, and the worst of Metamor City's early afternoon traffic stood between them and their destination. It was nearly three o'clock before they pulled into the visitors' section of the parking garage. Rebecca got out of the skimmer warily, her ESP on high alert. She exchanged a glance with Sasha, and at her nod they raised their telepathic shields. They wouldn't be able to hear the thoughts of anyone coming, but their own thoughts would be that much less noticeable. Just as importantly, the shields wouldn't prevent Rebecca from using her ESP, which relied on a different form of psionic energy. Clairvoyance and a danger sense could be just as useful as telepathy for avoiding trouble — sometimes more so.

They rode the lift up to Jared's level and found his condo without any trouble. The security pad next to the door would block any mundane intruder, but Rebecca had something different in mind.

She pointed to her eyes, then to Sasha, then to the hallway in either direction. Sasha nodded and moved into a convenient lookout position, while Rebecca went over to the door and put her hand up against it. Closing her eyes, she extended her clairvoyance, letting her viewpoint slip out of her body and into the room beyond.

Rebecca's consciousness coalesced into an astral form, an insubstantial body that was visible only to her and any fellow astral travelers that she might happen to run into. She spent several minutes exploring the condo, taking note of the furnishings. So he's got money, but he's not stuck-up about it. Huh.

She poked her head into closets and drawers, examining their contents. She couldn't move anything, but solid walls were no barrier to her, either. Focusing through large piles of stuff was tricky, but anything that would be readily visible to someone opening a drawer was accessible to her, as well. Boxes of Danni's things were shoved into corners and under tables, anywhere they could possibly fit. Several women's outfits hung in the bedroom's walk-in closet, so apparently Danni had been doing some shopping. Rebecca spotted Daniel's sonic toothbrush in the upstairs bathroom, and the sight gave her a familiar pang of nostalgia and loss. She really has moved in, she thought.

Coming back out into the bedroom, she studied the pictures on the walls, as well as a few bare spots where pictures had recently been taken down. She examined the files on the desk, but they were written in fluent Scientist and her metaphorical eyes glazed over within seconds. She didn't see anything that would hint at any sort of evil plan to capture Danni — not that she really expected to, but she could always hope.

Sighing, she turned her attention to the bed, which was the focusing point for all of the residual emotional energy that circulated in the room. She grabbed hold of that energy and tried to gather it inside her mind, to catch a glimpse of the events that had happened here. This was tricky, combining her clairvoyance with the use of psychometry to look into the past; most of the time she only used one or the other. She could dimly feel the strain on her brain and body as she stretched her perceptions back through time, but she gritted her teeth and forged ahead — or, more accurately, backward.

It came as no surprise to her that most of what had happened in the room lately was sex. A lot of sex. A lot of very athletic sex, which was something that Rebecca had missed since Lila started growing inside her. She felt vaguely envious of the beautiful woman with the mocha-brown skin who kept rising to one shuddering climax after another, night after night — until she abruptly remembered that the woman in her vision was Danni, and that the man she was with was the mysterious Jared.

Rebecca scanned backward through the days and weeks, looking for the day when all of this had started. At last she saw the night when Danni had sat on the edge of the bed with Jared and talked about his dead wife, and the time of passion that followed. It took her by surprise when Jared tried to talk Danni out of it, but he gave in quickly enough that she realized his heart wasn't in it. He did want to be with Danni, and in the tender moment they shared after their lovemaking, his words echoed through Rebecca's mind—

“Danni … oh, gods, Danni, I love you. Never leave me… never leave me…”

Then Danni relaxed against him, unconsciously holding him tighter. A contented smile came over her face — and in that moment Rebecca realized what had happened. She didn't know how it had happened, but she had a good hunch about how the effects played out. Fiona would have called it a wild guess, but Rebecca had learned to trust her hunches. She just hoped that she would have the chance to do something about it.

She shifted her perspective back to her own body and the present moment. Gesturing to Sasha, she led the way back to the lift. She put a finger to her lips to tell Sasha to stay quiet until they were back in the garage and inside their parked skimmer.

"Let's go," Rebecca said. "Head for the hospital."

Sasha frowned, but she put on the control headset and spooled up the drive turbines. "What's up?" she asked, as she pulled out of the garage and onto the skyway. "What did you see in there?"

"Enough to know that we don't wanna be here when Jared gets home," Rebecca said. "The good news is that I don't think he's a bad guy. The bad news is, I think he did something to Danni without knowing that he did it." She paused, as a thought struck her. "Nate, too, probably, now that I think about it."

"What do you think he did?"

Rebecca grimaced. "I think people do what he wants them to."

"So, what? He's a teep who can only use his powers subconsciously?"

She shook her head. "This isn't telepathy. You said yourself that Nate's mind didn't look like it had been messed with. I think maybe this goes deeper."

Sasha stole a glance away from the road to look at Rebecca. She looked half incredulous and half terrified. Rebecca felt her scanning her surface thoughts, trying to verify if she was really saying what Sasha thought she was saying. She was, and Sasha didn't look encouraged by it.

"That's not possible," Sasha whispered.

Rebecca bit her lip and fought back her own rising fear. "That's what they used to say about us," she said.

The hospital was not far from Jared's condo, and they made it there shortly after four o'clock. Rebecca led the way up to the laboratory where Danni worked. They heard the sounds of conversation from halfway down the hall, a clear and pleasant-sounding tenor voice alternating with a cheerful, giggling mezzo-soprano.

"Come on, it's only twenty minutes," the man said with a laugh. "No one's going to miss you. Hells, the doctors are probably all gone by now, anyway."

The woman murred happily, and Rebecca heard the sound of a kiss. ”You are a bad influence on me,” she teased. “Go stand over there and stop getting in my work, or I’m never going to be finished.”

Rebecca ducked into an adjacent room, and Sasha followed silently. Stretching out her senses, she cast her clairvoyance toward the laboratory. Danni was standing at one of the large, heavy, expensive-looking pieces of test equipment, checking the displays while it did whatever it was supposed to be doing. Jared sat on a nearby stool and watched her with the kind of guileless joy that only someone who was truly in love could muster. Rebecca felt a pang of regret, which Sasha apparently picked up on.

“What is it?” she whispered.

Rebecca pulled back from the vision and shook her head. “Just having second thoughts. He seems like a really nice guy, and she looks so happy.”

Sasha frowned. “Okay, sure,” she said. “But if he’s doing to her what you think he’s doing, then of course she looks happy. She doesn’t have a choice.”

A chill ran down Rebecca’s spine as she thought about that. “Yeah, I know. Still, it’s not like it’s really his fault.”

”If your hunch is right,” Sasha said. “For all we know, he might have made a pact with Lady Suspira to become irresistible to women. You can’t assume he’s innocent when something this big is involved.”

Rebecca nodded reluctantly and went back to peeping on the lab next door. Jared and Danni chatted idly while she finished her tests, clearly just enjoying each other’s company. It reminded Rebecca of the evenings back in college when she and Daniel would talk while they made dinner or cleaned the apartment. They would bitch about homework assignments, or trade bits of university gossip, or debate the relative merits of books they had read or movies they had seen. Rebecca missed those conversations; though she and Daniel had kept in regular contact since she joined Brian’s cell, their phone calls and instant messaging chats had grown more strained as her pregnancy advanced. In the three months before the deaths of Del and Trace, the only times she had seen him in person were at the monthly Hive meetings.

The truth is, she thought, I lost Daniel a long time ago. Not that she regretted joining Brian’s cell – she loved him, and Fiona, and Sasha, and their shared home together had given her a sense of belonging that she hadn’t felt during her university years with Daniel. But she wished there were a way for her to be with Daniel, too – one that didn’t involve having an affair outside the breeding cell. There were some things you just didn’t do, no matter how much you might want them.

In the next room, Danni had moved to her computer and was checking on the data coming in from the machine. “Okay, this looks promising,” she said. “Go ahead and pull up the skimmer – I’ll meet you at the door in five.”

Jared came over to her chair at the computer desk and planted a kiss on her forehead. “Your wish is my command,” he said, and headed out of the lab.

“Wait for it…” Rebecca whispered.

Projecting her clairvoyance down the hall, she watched until Jared entered the lift that would take him down to the parking structure. As soon as the doors closed, she came out of her hiding place and went straight for the lab.

Danni cocked her head at the sound of Rebecca’s approaching footsteps. “You forget something, baby?” she asked.

Rebecca swallowed back the lump in her throat and crossed her arms. “I might ask you the same thing.”

Danni spun around and stared at her. A rapid barrage of emotions flickered over her face: surprise, joy, grief, anger, guilt, suspicion, one replacing another almost too fast to see. “R-Rebecca,” she stammered. “What are you doing here?”

“Trying to save you from something really, really dangerous,” she said. “I’ll explain everything, but right now we have to get you out of here.”

Danni sprung to her feet, looking alarmed. “One of your visions?” she asked.

Rebecca waggled a hand in a “sort-of” gesture. “Let’s just say I have a really bad feeling about this.”

Danni nodded. “Good enough for me,” she said, grabbing her purse and locking her computer. “Come on, we need to catch up to Jared. If there’s trouble coming, I’m not letting anything happen to him.”

Rebecca caught her by the wrist as she headed for the door. “Wait!” she said.

Danni made an exasperated sound. “Make up your mind, Becks! Is there trouble, or isn’t there?!”

Rebecca winced. “There is,” she said, “but Jared’s not the one in danger.” She swallowed again, and felt the lump high in her throat. “He’s sorta the one causing it.”

Danni stared at her for two full seconds in astonishment. Then her expression changed, turning cool and quiet and very definitely hostile. She pulled her wrist out of Rebecca’s hand with a quick, jerking motion.

“You’re wrong,” she said. “Jared is a good man.”

“I’m not saying he isn’t,” Rebecca said quickly, holding her hands up in front of her. “But he’s done something to you, whether he knows it or not. You’ve changed, D, and not just the obvious stuff, either. It’s scaring me.”

“Oh, for Prophet’s sake,” Danni muttered, turning her back on her.

“I’m serious, Daniel—”

“NO!” Danni was up her face again in an instant, grabbing her by the shoulders. “You do not call me that anymore!”

Rebecca cringed. “Okay, okay, fine! It’s Danni! Fine!”

Danni loosened her grip and stared at Rebecca, her beautiful eyes still burning with blue-white anger. She took a breath and let it out before she spoke again. “You think it didn’t occur to me to be scared at how fast I changed?” she asked. “I know I’m different, Becks. I didn’t need you to tell me that. I went to the best wizard in town and had him run me through his tests to make sure nobody was fucking with my head. And you know what he told me?”

Rebecca suspected that she did, but she shook her head anyway.

“All those changes in my personality came from in here.” She pointed at her own heart. “This is all me, Becks. I did this to me. If I’m different, it’s because I wanted to be different.”

Rebecca looked up at her, her heart sinking. “But what if he’s wrong? Suppose – just suppose that maybe there’s somebody out there who can change what you want – maybe without even knowing he’s doing it!”

Danni shook her head emphatically. “Artax says it can’t be done. Sorry, Becks, but you’re looking for monsters where there aren’t any.” She turned away and walked out of the lab.

Rebecca followed her. “So come with us and let’s prove it!” she said. “We’ve got one of the Elders back at the nest. I’m sure they’ll be able to think of a way to test it and make sure that it’s really you that’s doing this! Wouldn’t you rather know for sure?”

Danni stopped halfway to the lift. She turned around and walked slowly toward Rebecca, her expression unreadable. For a moment, Rebecca started to hope that maybe she had gotten through to her…

“No,” Danni said.

Rebecca blinked, stunned. “But Danni—”

“The way I feel is the way I feel,” she said. “Look at me. I’m beautiful. I feel good about myself. I’m in love with a great guy. I’m happy, Rebecca. Gods, do you have any idea how long it’s been since I could say that?”

Rebecca lowered her eyes.

“Look at me!” Danni snapped. Reluctantly, Rebecca did so. She could see tears welling up in Danni’s eyes.

“I’m happy,” Danni said again. “I haven’t felt that way since the day I knew you’d have to leave me. I want you to be happy for me, the way I’ve been happy for you and your new life.” She wiped at the tears spilling down her face. “And instead all you can do is stand there and tell me that I’m bent and broken and – and wrong because I feel this way! Oh, Danni’s happy – somebody must have screwed with her head, because Prophet knows that’s not allowed! Heaven forbid that there be any happiness in the world for her that doesn’t involve her one true love, Rebecca Brower!”

Her face twisted into a snarl. “Well, fuck that! And fuck you! I refuse to be miserable just to justify your place as the center of the universe! And if somebody made me feel this way, I will go down on my knees and suck his cock in gratitude, because this is a hell of a lot better than the way you’ve made me feel for the last fucking year!”

Rebecca backed away, one step after another. She couldn’t speak, couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. She hadn’t seen this coming.

Danni just stood there in the hallway and stared her down as she retreated. “Your boyfriend is dead, Rebecca Brower!” she said. “You killed him the day you left, you back-stabbing bitch!” She spread her arms wide. “I am the phoenix that rose from his ashes, and I … am … alive! And if you don’t like what I’ve become, then fuck you, because you’ve got nobody to blame but yourself.”

Rebecca stumbled and fell on her ass, sobbing. Danni turned away, walked to the lift tube, and went inside.

She didn’t look back even once.

Part 4

page revision: 25, last edited: 29 Oct 2007 22:47

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