The Case of the Golden Egg (Audio Drama)

SCENE 1. = ALIRI INVESTIGATIONS - EXT. AFTERNOON.

/MUSIC - SOMETHING SWEEPING AND DRAMATIC/

ALIRI (V.O.)

(dramatically)

Metamor City. The Seat of Empire. Shining Jewel of the North. Beacon of hope and freedom for millions of sentient beings. For a thousand generations it has stood as a light in the darkness, promising rest for the wanderer, haven for the outcast, wisdom for the seeker. Whoever you are — whatever you are — if you're stout of heart and free in spirit, there's a new life waiting for you in Metamor.

(pause)

(dryly)

Or at least, that's what it says in the brochure.

/SFX - RECORD SCRATCH/

/MUSIC - SOMETHING DETECTIVE-Y/

ALIRI (V.O.)

As I walk through the rain toward my office — the water turned brown with a hundred stories' worth of urban runoff — I walk past heaps of trash and bums squatting in doorways, and I can't help feeling like somebody's welched on a bet. Sure, up topside the city's dolled up like the girls at a top-notch Sensie Guild … but down here, in her guts, there's a cancer growing. You can find new life here, you bet, but mostly it comes in two flavors: hunters, and scavengers.

Me? I'm a bit of both, I suppose. The name's Aliri. I'm a private eye.

Aliri enters the office. BETTY, his secretary, is a sullen demoness bound to his service. Her voice is nasal and has harsh, grinding overtones, like Fran Drescher gargling broken glass while dropping spoons through the garbage disposal.

/SFX - RINGING DOOR CHIMES/

BETTY

Welcome back, Boss.

ALIRI

Hey, Betty. Any messages for me?

BETTY

The garage called. They said it'll take another week to fix what you did to the skimmer, and Joe says … (pause, then as if reading) … how in the Ninth Hells did you get acid burns on the back seat?

ALIRI

Tell him he doesn't wanna know. How much will it cost to fix?

BETTY

Here's the estimate.

(pause)

ALIRI:

Wow. Who knew upholstery was that expensive?

BETTY

You want I should negotiate a lower price for you?

ALIRI (V.O.)

I'm tempted. Betty's over two meters tall, with an armored hide, serrated claws, and spikes in a lot of scary places. But you don't let a daedra settle your disputes unless you want to mop up the pieces afterwards.

ALIRI

(frustrated sigh) No, no. Just tell him forget about the upholstery for now. As long as it flies.

BETTY

(dubious)

Whatever you say, boss. (pause) There's a new client waiting for you in your office. I warned her not to touch anything.

ALIRI

Thanks, Betty.

Aliri goes into his personal office. LADY NARVALLA is waiting for him. She's every inch the 1940s femme fatale: sleek, elegant, dangerous. She speaks in a rich, sultry voice — ham it up!

/SFX - INNER DOOR OPENS/

ALIRI (V.O.)

The trouble started with a woman. It usually does.

= NARVALLA

(smoky)

Hello, Mister Aliri.

ALIRI (V.O.)

She perched on the edge of my desk like a dame from one o' those old detective movies, her legs crossed at the knee and flashing skin like an unspoken promise. She had hair so blonde it looked like spun gold, and eyes as green as a baby lutin's bottom. If she'd been wearing white gloves and gripping a cigarette holder I wouldn't've been surprised. (PAUSE) Of course, I'm the nut in the trenchcoat and fedora, so, who am I to judge, right?

NARVALLA

Your … (struggling for the right word — bodyguard? hired demon?) secretary … let me in. I hope that's all right.

ALIRI

Fine, fine. Here, let's have a seat and you can tell me about your troubles. Can I get you anything? Water? Brandy?

NARVALLA

No, thank you. (pause) I must admit, that's a nicer suit than I was expecting for a Street-side office. You have some taste, Mister Aliri.

ALIRI

Yeah, well. Guy like me wants a suit, he pretty well has to get it tailored. It's the long arms.

NARVALLA

Yes, I suppose the average lutin has little call for formal wear. But you're far from average, Mister Aliri … or at least that's your reputation.

ALIRI

(getting tired of this)

Flattery'll get you everywhere, sweetheart, but I don't mix business and pleasure. So why don't you tell me who you are and why you're in my office.

NARVALLA

Of course, my apologies. I am Baroness Sigrid Narvalla of Arabarb. Something precious has been stolen from me. I want you to find it.

ALIRI (V.O.)

That was my first warning this case was gonna be bad news. A baroness slumming it in a Street Rat's office? I could tell the lady was class, but the ruling class was a whole different kind of trouble. And they could get real particular about manners.

ALIRI

(clears throat) All right, milady. Let me grab a notepad here … Okay. What can you tell me?

NARVALLA

My business dealings often bring me into the city for extended periods, so I keep a small penthouse suite in the Soulshore district. Last night I gave a dinner party there for a few of my associates. When I awoke the next morning, I found that this was missing.

ALIRI

Pretty fancy knick-knack. How big is this thing? I can't tell the scale from the picture.

NARVALLA

It's about thirty centimeters tall, including the stand.

ALIRI

I'm gonna make a few notes on this. (haltingly, as if writing) Missing: one golden egg, height thirty centimeters including base … how much does it weigh? I assume it's not solid gold.

NARVALLA

No, it isn't. Perhaps … three kilograms?

ALIRI

Three kilos … right. And the gems on the top and around the base? They look like rubies and diamonds.

NARVALLA

Correct.

ALIRI

Okay … got it. Any magical properties I should know about? Auras, imprinted spells, booby traps?

NARVALLA

(warily)

The egg gives off a weak aura of elemental fire. It's a long-term project of mine, but it doesn't do anything interesting yet. (pause) I was told you weren't a practitioner, Mister Aliri.

ALIRI

You were told right, ma'am. But I've got enough of the old shaman blood in me to spot an aura. Strains my head, though, so I don't use it often.

NARVALLA

I see. In that case I should warn you, Mister Aliri: the egg is quite fragile. If the thief knows its worth, he is probably being careful not to damage it. I expect you to be doubly so.

ALIRI

Of course, ma'am. Why don't you tell me more about last night, and the people you had over.

ALIRI (V.O.)

By skywalker standards, Lady Narvalla's dinner party hadn't been anything special — just a chance to make nice, swing deals, and trade gossip about the other grand high muckety-mucks. I took down details about the guests: their names, titles, house affiliations … anything that might prove handy later. Narvalla had pictures of all of them, thanks to her fancy security system. I'd never seen most of them before, but one was familiar … and I knew I had my lead on where to start looking.

CUT TO:


SCENE 2. STATION 53 — INT.

/MUSIC - DANCE TUNES/

At Station 53, the nightclub favored by Metamor's young élite, we find EVA SELINDI, a runner specialized in “social engineering”. Master of a thousand disguises, schooled in the cultures of high, medium and low society alike, Eva can make friends anywhere — and talk people into (or out of) almost anything.

EVA

(playful)

Well, well, well. If it isn't Rafak Aliri.

ALIRI

If it isn't, then I need to find the guy. People keep sending me his bills. (PAUSE) Good to see you, Eva. Buy you a drink?

EVA

Oh, why not. Looks like there's a couple of seats open at the bar over there.

They sit down. A BARTENDER approaches them.

BARTENDER

Evening sir, ma'am. What'll you have?

ALIRI

Metamor Stout — on tap if you've got it, in the bottle if not. The lady'll have a Lanton Stripper, lightly shaken, served in a hurricane glass with a twist of lemon.

BARTENDER

Very good, sir.

EVA

You remembered. I'm impressed.

ALIRI

Details, doll. It's all about the details.

EVA

So I hear. And what details are you looking for tonight, gumshoe?

ALIRI

(sliding her a photo)

What can you tell me about this?

EVA

Well, it's hardly the best picture of me I've ever seen.

ALIRI

Don't get cute. This was taken at a party last night for a bunch of skywalkers. Somehow your name ended up on the guest list. Or whatever name you were using at the time — and I'm guessing “Eva Selindi” wasn't it.

EVA

(chuckles)

You know me, Raf. I can't resist a nice fancy dinner. Particularly if someone else is footing the bill.

ALIRI

(dryly)

Yeah, I remember that part really well for some reason. Betty says I'll have the balance paid off by next solstice.

EVA

Oh, quit whinging. (taking up her glass) Here: to health and prosperity for both of us in the coming year.

ALIRI

I'll drink to that.

They clink glasses and drink.

ALIRI

So, see anything you liked at that dinner party?

EVA

(playfully again)

Oh, a few things. Lady Narvalla is a woman of exceptional taste. (takes a drink)

ALIRI

(deadpan)

Well, you've tasted more women than I have, so I'll take your word on it.

EVA

(chokes on her drink, then laughs richly)

You saucy green bastard! I should smack you for that.

ALIRI

You'll have to buy me dinner first. (PAUSE) I'm talking knick-nacks, Eva. Trinkets. Shinies. Specifically a golden egg about yea high.

EVA

Yes, I saw it. Lady Narvalla had it tucked away in a corner — but if you ask me, it was the most impressive piece in the whole collection.

ALIRI

You got any clients who might've felt the same way?

(PAUSE)

EVA

(cautiously)

Perhaps. Anything that finely-made will have at least some demand for it. Why?

ALIRI

Heard a rumor that Narvalla's collection was an egg shy this morning.

EVA

Really? And what makes you think I had anything to do with it?

ALIRI

Doesn't much matter to me either way. If it was you, then you've already delivered to your client or you wouldn't be here. If it wasn't, then you'll know who else was taking an interest in the egg last night. Either way, you have information I want.

EVA

That sort of information can be dangerous in the wrong hands, Raf.

ALIRI

My client doesn't care about runners. No offense, Eva, but you're not even a speck on her radar. All she cares about is who has it now.

EVA

(hesitates)

Your word on that?

ALIRI

You've got it.

EVA

(sighs)

All right. … I didn't take the egg, but I was the reconnaissance for the ones who did. My job was to go in, find the egg, sketch the layout of the place, and make note of the defenses. They did the job later that night, after the guests all left.

ALIRI

Any idea who the other team was?

EVA

No, we used code names.

ALIRI

Uh-huh. And the boss?

EVA

No idea. We always worked through an agent.

ALIRI

That's funny. I thought you were the agent for jobs like this.

EVA

Not this time. Whoever the boss was, he wanted an extra layer of insulation between himself and the job.

ALIRI

He?

EVA

Or she, or it. Sorry, Raf, but my clients know I can't guarantee my silence — so they don't tell me much.

ALIRI

Sure, sure. But you've gotta know something, right? This agent — you met him, you must have gotten some kind of clue about who he was working for.

EVA

Look, Raf. I like you and all, but a good runner doesn't spill everything just because a man buys her a drink.

ALIRI

All right, I can respect that. (PAUSE) Of course, if I can't turn up any other leads for her, I'm gonna have to point Lady Narvalla at you. If she decides to go to the cops, they might start connecting you to all sorts of interesting things … like that shootout at the skyport last year.1

EVA

(hisses)

Shh! (PAUSE, then sotto voce) How the bloody hell do you know about that?!

ALIRI

(indicating himself)

Detective.

EVA

(exasperated sigh)

ALIRI

All I need is a lead, Eva. Just a place to start looking.

(PAUSE)

EVA

(bitterly)

Fine. The agent's name was Raymond Baddings. He's an antiques merchant with a shop on the fourth level. He's in the phone book, and you didn't hear his name from me.

ALIRI

Got it. And thanks, Eva. I owe you one.

EVA

Damned right you do. And don't go getting yourself killed before I have a chance to collect.

ALIRI

You say the sweetest things.

CUT TO:


SCENE 3. UPPER-CLASS MALL, INT.

/MUSIC: “SNEAKY”, BY DAVID BEARD/

ALIRI (V.O.)

Baddings' shop was in a high-class mall on the north end of town, at the highest levels of the city. The shops were all closed, but I decided a little discreet snooping was in order. If the guy was working a side-line as a fence, he probably wasn't going to hand over the merchandise during normal business hours. If I could catch him with his client when they made the hand-off, I might wrap this whole thing up before breakfast.

I went in through the mall's receiving entrance, where the big cargo tenders drop off their goods. A lot of shipments come in at that time of night, and lutin day laborers are a cheap and steady source of extra hands. I dressed in some old ratty clothes and, faster than you can say “undocumented worker”, I had myself a job.

It took me a while, but I finally got a box to deliver that took me down past the back entrance to Baddings Antiquities. The door was propped open, and a light came from inside.

ALIRI

(to himself)

Huh. That's odd.

ALIRI (V.O.)

I couldn't hear anyone inside … but my nose told me a different story.

ALIRI

(sniffs)

Ugh. Somebody forgot to flush. And there's something else. (sniffs again) Burnt hair, and … is that … bacon?

ALIRI (V.O.)

Being a professional gumshoe with a keen, analytical mind, it only took me a few seconds to realize…

ALIRI

(slowly, horrified)

That's not bacon.

ALIRI (V.O.)

I pushed the door open and went inside, counting on my work gloves to cover my fingerprints. There in the back room of the shop, I found him.

ALIRI

Oh, Baddings, you poor bastard.

POLICE OFFICER

Freeze! Police!

ALIRI (V.O.)

Unfortunately, somebody found me just a few seconds later.

/MUSIC - “SNEAKY STING”/

CUT TO:


SCENE 4. PRECINCT 9 INTERROGATION ROOM - INT.

ALIRI (V.O.)

The police took me back to the precinct house. After a few hours' shut-eye in a quiet cell, they took me to an interrogation room. There I was introduced to Detective Kathryn Kitaen, Magic Affairs. She was a head and a half taller than me, with long red hair and a bod like the proverbial brick house. The view didn't quite make up for being arrested … but it was pretty close.

KATE

(with just a bit of menace)

All right, Mister Aliri. What were you doing in that room with the body of Raymond Baddings?

ALIRI

Hoping to get a few questions answered.

KATE

What kinds of questions?

ALIRI

Client had a knick-nack got stolen. Thought the thief might've brought it to an antiques dealer to fence it.

KATE

So you just randomly picked his shop to wander into in the middle of the night.

ALIRI

Wasn't planning on going inside until I smelled him. Thought he might need first aid.

KATE

The medical examiner says he was hit by over 3 million volts of electricity.

ALIRI

Yeah, CPR wasn't gonna be much help at that point.

KATE

Did you ever have any dealings with Baddings?

ALIRI

Nah. That antique stuff isn't my style. I'm a bean-bags and particle board kinda guy.

KATE

I meant have you ever worked with him as a fence?

ALIRI

Detective Kitaen, I'm a licensed private investigator, not a runner. I don't burgle, I don't smuggle, and I don't rob. So no: if Baddings was a fence, I never had a reason to work with him. And I sort of resent the insinuation that, because I'm a Street Rat, I must be a criminal.

(PAUSE)

KATE

Fair enough, Mister Aliri. My apologies.

ALIRI

Apology accepted. What'd you want him for, anyway? I assume you weren't there for little ol' me.

KATE

Several powerful magic items have gone missing over the last couple of weeks. We got some hints that the merchandise was going through Baddings. Sounds like your client's “knick-nack” was just the latest.

ALIRI

(thoughtfully)

Baddings was the cut-out man. Kill him and there's nothing to tie things back to whoever's behind it.

KATE

Maybe, maybe not. What did they steal from your client?

ALIRI

Did somebody forget to explain the private in “private investigator”? If my client didn't talk to the police, they probably don't want me to do it, either.

KATE

We're running out of time, Aliri. If whoever was behind this decided to kill Baddings, they probably already have whatever they need to perform their ritual. Look, I'm a wizard: if I know all the ingredients, I might be able to figure out what they're planning.

ALIRI

So, I scratch your back, you scratch mine?

KATE

Something like that, yeah.

ALIRI

All right, you've got a deal. Here's a picture of what was stolen.

KATE

(whistles appreciatively)

Pretty. Is it magical?

ALIRI

Supposedly it has a weak fire aura, but my client says it wasn't finished yet. Long-term hobby, I guess. Thirty centimeters tall, three kilos.

KATE

(absently)

Got it. I wonder if the fire aura is from the rubies; they're good for that.

ALIRI

Could be. I wasn't privy to the details.

KATE

Let me do some digging and find out what sort of ritual might use this stuff.

ALIRI

Sure. Can I see the rest of the thieves' shopping list? Maybe I can make some connections on the ground while you're doing the book-work.

KATE

All right. But you'd better share what you find out, or I'm dragging you back in for obstruction.

ALIRI

Don't worry, Detective; I'll scratch your back. (PAUSE) Assuming I can find a ladder high enough to reach it.

CUT TO:


SCENE 5. SPELLS 4 U - EXT.

/MUSIC - “MAGIC”/

ALIRI (V.O.)

My great-granddaddy may have been a shaman, but what I know about magic, a snake could juggle. I make up for it in what I know about people. I had no doubt that Detective Kitaen was a fine wizard; she probably had a couple of fancy degrees up on her wall, to prove how much she knew about magic.

The problem with people like that is that they can't resist a puzzle. They don't want somebody to just give them the answer. They want to figure it out for themselves. I could see it in her eyes when I left her — like I'd just given her the last piece she needed, and all she had to do was put it together.

I, on the other hand, don't have any intellectual pride to satisfy. If I wanna know something about big, dark, scary magic, I go to the city's expert on the subject. Next stop: SPELLS 4 U.

ARTAX

Master Aliri. I take it the disguise charms worked to your satisfaction?

ALIRI

Hello, Mister Artax. Yeah, they worked like a dream. Speaking of dreams, you have any more of those sleepy-time bombs? I got a feeling I might need 'em soon.

ARTAX

Just brewed up a new batch this morning. How many would you like?

ALIRI

Let's play it safe and say three.

ARTAX

That'll be 130.64.

ALIRI

Oof. All right. If this turns out like I expect, I can probably expense it.

ARTAX

Sounds as if you're planning some unpleasant business, boy.

ALIRI

Maybe. I'm tracking down somebody with ritual magic on his mind. Say, does this list of ingredients mean anything to you?

Aliri hands the wizard a list of the items stolen. = ARTAX looks at the list and LETS OUT A QUICK, SCORNFUL LAUGH.

ARTAX

Aye! It means that your would-be spellcaster is an idiot.

ALIRI

How so?

ARTAX

(amused)

He's trying to craft a guardian spell. Done properly, it would call a powerful spirit from the Dreamlands and bind it in permanent service to a mortal master.

ALIRI

And let me guess: done _im__-properly, and the spirit kills the caster and goes on a rampage?

ARTAX

(chuckling)

Potentially, but this moron won't even get that far. It's obvious he completely misunderstood Tyria's research.

ALIRI

Who's Tyria?

ARTAX

Tyria Kemmler, an old colleague of mine. She was a Maga Ipsissima of the Triskelion Order, until they divested her.

ALIRI

(slowly)

I take it that means she was pretty important.

ARTAX

(exasperated sigh)

Aye, Master Aliri, she was. She was also exceptionally powerful and unfettered by such petty concerns as morality or the well-being of others. Enough so that they kicked her out of the order … which, in that pack of rascals, was saying something.

ALIRI

Uh-huh. So how can you tell that this guy misunderstood her research?

ARTAX

(dripping with scorn)

Well, look at the focus he chose! A jeweler's egg? Bah! It's like using a plastic mannequin for a human sacrifice.

ALIRI

Let me get this straight. You're saying that this spell calls for an actual, live egg?

ARTAX

Well, it doesn't have to be an egg. Any sort of live, baby animal would do. The spell sort of … steals the potential of the creature that was sacrificed. Takes whatever it would become and transfers that power to the guardian spirit. Tyria suggested an egg because it was convenient, and because it appeared that the creature would not suffer.

ALIRI

Ah. So that made it okay, then?

ARTAX

Don't be a fool, boy. It's still death magic. It was research like this that got Tyria divested. She never went through with half of the ideas she came up with, but if she had, it would have made a lot of beings very angry.

ALIRI

Huh. You know, I'm not sure I'm seeing your angle on this. People have eggs with their breakfast every day.

ARTAX

Aye. And how powerful of a guardian d'you think you'd get from using a chicken egg, Master Aliri?

ALIRI

Not very?

ARTAX

Exactly. Come, boy, use your head. What sort of egg do you think she wanted to use? What would give her the most power?

(PAUSE)

ALIRI

(whisper)

A dragon egg.

ARTAX

Ah! He can be taught.

ALIRI

(murmuring)

“A mild fire aura.” It's an incubator…

ARTAX

Come again?

ALIRI

Mister Artax … um … about how big is a dragon egg?

ARTAX

Well, that depends on the dragon. Could be anywhere from … twenty to thirty centimeters tall, I suppose.

ALIRI

(feeling a little sick)

And the weight … somewhere around three kilos?

ARTAX

That would be a little on the heavy end, but aye.

ALIRI

(trying not to freak out)

Got it. One more question, sir: Where would I find Tyria Kemmler if I wanted to ask her some questions?

ARTAX

(nasty laugh)

Trust me, boy, you wouldn't. She's not what you'd call a people person.

ALIRI

Humor me. Does she still live around here?

ARTAX

Oh, aye. She has a penthouse suite in Hutchins Tower. But I warn you, Master Aliri: Meddle not in the affairs of wizards and dragons.

ALIRI

(sourly)

Yeah, thanks. I think it's a little late for that.

CUT TO:


SCENE 6. SPELLS 4 U - EXT.

/MUSIC: SOMETHING SUSPENSEFUL & ACTION-Y/

/SFX: PHONE RINGING/

KATE (O.S.)

Kitaen here.

ALIRI

Detective, we got problems. That jeweler's egg that was stolen from my client? It's a dragon egg disguised as a jeweler's egg.

KATE (O.S.)

Bloody hells. No wonder the list didn't make sense! This is a necromancy spell, isn't it?

ALIRI

It's some kind of death magic, that's for sure — and from what I hear, it's serious mojo. Some woman named Kemmler came up with it.

KATE (O.S.)

Tyria Kemmler?! Dammit. All right, don't do anything. I need to call in some backup.

ALIRI

(making static noises)

What's that's, Detective? I didn't quite catch that.

KATE (O.S.)

Do not approach Kemmler! She's dangerous, and—

ALIRI

(making more static noises)

Sorry, Detective, you're breaking up! I'll have to call you back when I get topside!

Aliri hangs up.

ALIRI (V.O.)

I wasn't stupid. I wasn't about to go walking blind into the lair of a Maga Ipsy-daisy-whatever. But I had an obligation to my client, and if she was what I thought she was, I really didn't want her mad at me.

/SFX - PHONE RINGS/

NARVALLA (O.S.)

Mister Aliri? What have you to report?

ALIRI

Lady Narvalla. I'm about ninety percent sure I know who took your egg. I might be able to bump that up to a hundred percent, but I don't think I'd survive the experience.

NARVALLA (O.S.)

(coolly)

I understand. Who is it?

ALIRI

A high master wizard named Tyria Kemmler.

(NARVALLA HISSES)

ALIRI

I see you two know each other.

NARVALLA (O.S.)

(hissing, harsh)

Where isss she?!

ALIRI

Uh … the penthouse of Hutchins Tower. Like I said, I'm only ninety—

(NARVALLA SNARLS)

NARVALLA (O.S.)

(ferocious, inhuman)

No matter, little detective. I will deal with her myself!

(PAUSE)

ALIRI

She hung up on me. How rude.

CUT TO:


SCENE 7. OUTSIDE PRECINCT 9 STATION HOUSE - EXT.

/MUSIC: SOMETHING VERY ACTION-Y/

ALIRI (V.O.)

I caught a taxi and high-tailed it back to the precinct house. Kitaen met me halfway there.

KATE

(angry)

Aliri!

/SFX - DISTANT EXPLOSION & SIRENS/

ALIRI

That didn't take long…

KATE

Damn it, Aliri! What did you do?!

ALIRI

I reported back to my client on the case!

/SFX - ANOTHER EXPLOSION/

KATE

Your client is a freaking dragon?!

ALIRI

Well, I didn't = know that, did I?!

(KATE CURSES UNDER HER BREATH)

ALIRI

What?

KATE

Never mind! Get on the swoop!

ALIRI

Gah. I hate these things…

KATE

Hurry up!

ALIRI

I'm goin'! I'm goin'! Where we headed? Whoa!

/SFX - SWOOP ACCELERATING/

KATE

(shouting over the engine and wind noise)

We've got to get that egg back!

ALIRI

Are you crazy?! The last thing we should do is get between that reptile and her baby!

KATE

Look!

ALIRI

Holy daughter of god! There are two of them!

KATE

Kemmler can shapeshift — she'll fight to keep the egg!

(KEMMLER LETS OUT A HUGE EVIL LAUGH)

KEMMLER (O.S.)

(reptilian voice)

Go home, arctic worm! The egg is mine!

NARVALLA (O.S.)

(harsh, ferocious voice)

Scheming bitch! I shall feast on your entrails!

/SFX - MORE EXPLOSIONS/

ALIRI

(horrified)

They'll tear apart half the city before one of them wins.

KATE

Which is why we have to get the egg! We sneak in to the building while Kemmler's distracted, grab the egg, and get it to safety.

ALIRI

Safety?! With two crazy dragons after us?!

KATE

The Lightbringers are setting up a perimeter — we just have to get outside it! Artax will take care of the rest.

ALIRI

Lovely! Did I mention that I'm afraid of heeeiiiiiights…

/SFX - SWOOP MAKING ZOOMING SOUNDS/

KATE & ALIRI

Aaaagh!

/SFX - BOOM!/

KATE

Shit that was close! Hold on, we're almost there!

ALIRI

Look out for that tail!

KATE

Aagh! Whew, just missed us!

ALIRI

(sarcastic and near hysterical)

I noticed, thank you!

KATE

Almost there … one hundred meters … there! We can get in where Kemmler smashed her way out of the tower!

ALIRI

Behind you!

NARVALLA (O.S.)

(harsh reptilian voice)

Eat fire, hellspawn!

/SFX - FIRE WHOOSH/

KATE

Gah! Hold on!

ALIRI

Whoa!

KEMMLER (O.S.)

(evil reptilian voice)

Ha! You'll have to do better than that, you withered old snake!

NARVALLA (O.S.)

Oh - no - you - DIDN'T! Raaagh!

KEMMLER (O.S.)

Raaaagh!

KATE

Gonna brake, hold on!

ALIRI

Yaah!

KATE

Whew! We made it! And I don't think they saw us.

ALIRI

So this is Hutchins Tower? Looks … creepy. Though the personal effects are a nice touch.

KATE

What sort of Dark Art was she doing in here?

ALIRI

Artax said it was a guardian-binding spell. There's the egg … looks like it's in some kind of protective circle.

KATE

Yeah, it is. I can get it out of there … just need my ritual knife, and … got it!

ALIRI

Great. Let's get out of here. And for the record, I hate this plan.

KATE

(“Me too, but…”)

We weren't spoiled for choice. Here, put the egg inside your jacket. I'll fly … hang on…

/SFX - SWOOP ACCELERATING/

ALIRI

Looks like they're still going at it…

NARVALLA (O.S.)

I shall pluck out your eyes and feed them to my young!

KEMMLER (O.S.)

You can try, you — hey, wait! They're getting away with my egg!

NARVALLA (O.S.)

My egg!

ALIRI

(nervous)

Okay … we, uh, got their attention…

KATE

Dammit! I was hoping for more of a head start!

KEMMLER

I'll start with your head and chew my way down, you little thief!

NARVALLA

Not if I get my claws on her first!

ALIRI

(fighting panic)

Ladies! Ladies! Calm down! Um, I'm sure if we sit down, and talk this out…

(KEMMLER & NARVALLA ROAR)

KATE

Piece of advice? That never works!

ALIRI

Well excuse me for trying to be the voice of reason here!

KATE

There's the Lightbringer cordon … two hundred meters…

LIGHTBRINGER (O.S.)

(speaking through PA system)

Tyria Kemmler! Sigrid Narvalla! By the order of Majestrix Kyia, stand down!

NARVALLA

No! She is mine!

KEMMLER

Get off me, worm!

KATE

One thirty…

ALIRI

Hey, um … don't look, but I think I see Artax on that tower over there…

LIGHTBRINGER (O.S.)

Kemmler and Narvalla! Stand down, or we are authorized to use deadly force!

KEMMLER

Arrogant fools!

NARVALLA

Give me back my egg, lest I burn the meat from your bones!

KATE

Seventy meters…

ALIRI

Wow … uh, that's a big ball of power he's got there…

LIGHTBRINGER (O.S.)

This is your last warning!

KATE

Hang on…

ALIRI

Gonna be close…

KEMMLER

(confused, then horrified)

Liam? (GASP) Liam!

ARTAX

(menacing)

Hello, Tyria love. Miss me?

KEMMLER

Noooo!

/SFX - EARTH-SHATTERING KABOOM/

/SFX - SIRENS/

CUT TO:


SCENE 8. ROOFTOP - EXT.

/MUSIC - “JETLAG”/

ALIRI (V.O.)

I don't remember what happened after that. I woke up on a rooftop, with Kitaen shining a flashlight into my eyes.

KATE

Hey! Welcome back.

ALIRI

Gah. Get that thing out of my face. What happened?

KATE

Artax and the Libs took out the dragons. They broke a couple of skyways on the way down, but they're back in human form and safely in custody.

ALIRI

They survived that?

KATE

Oh, sure. Takes a lot more than that to kill a dragon.

ALIRI

Remind me not to get on a dragon's bad side. (PAUSE) Oh. Oh, shit.

KATE

(amused)

Relax, tiger. Once she calmed down, Narvalla realized you were helping me get her egg to safety. She's actually quite grateful.

ALIRI

Oh. Good. And, uh … Kemmler?

KATE

Despite appearances to the contrary, she's human — and we've got her cold for theft, attempted murder, illegal use of magic, and about fifty million marks of property damage. She's going into a mana-dead cell for a long, long time.

ALIRI

Glad to hear it. (PAUSE) Look, I'm sorry about the whole dragon thing. If I'd known Narvalla was going to throw down like that with Kemmler, I would have waited for you. Gone through channels.

KATE

Eh, don't be too hard on yourself. Near as we can tell, Narvalla didn't actually hurt anybody — the explosions were flashy, but her aim was really good, and she didn't throw them at anybody but Kemmler. They'll deport her back to the Dragon Federation and she'll have to pay for the damages, but that's all.

ALIRI

Still. You played straight with me, Detective. I should have trusted you.

KATE

You did what your sense of honor told you to do. There's plenty of people who don't even have one of those. We're square.

ALIRI

(smiles)

Okay. Okay.

KATE

Give you a ride back to your office?

ALIRI

That'd be great, thanks. Just, uh … go nice and slow, all right?

KATE

(laughs)

Aliri … I don't know the meaning of the word.

THE END

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